Title: The Mistress of Nothing Author: Kate Pullinger

Lady Duff Gordon is the toast of Victorian London. But when her debilitating tuberculosis means exile, she and her devoted lady's maid, Sally, set sail for Egypt. It is Sally who describes, with a mixture of wonder and trepidation, the odd ménage marshaled by the resourceful Omar, which travels down the Nile to a new life in Luxor. When Lady Duff Gordon undoes her stays and takes to native dress, throwing herself into weekly salons, language lessons and excursions to the tombs, Sally too adapts to a new world, affording her heady and heartfelt freedoms never known before.

But freedom is a luxury that a maid can ill-afford, and when Sally grasps more than her status entitles her to, she is brutally reminded that she is mistress of nothing.

“The truth is that, to her, I was not fully human,” Sally starts.

The story begins in England, in Esher in 1862. Sally, our narrator, is a servant, a maid, to an English Lady who is quite sick with tuberculosis. The Lady is “robust, learned and argumentative” despite being extremely unwell. The Lady's health has deteriorated throughout the years and it is plain to everyone that she will not survive another English winter. To preserve her life the Lady must leave England, with Sally, to Egypt, where the air is hot and dry. They close the house and say their goodbyes. Sally is excited to leave her life in England, but Lady Duff Gordon is devastated to leave her family behind. Sally knows her Lady's last moments with her husband will be the hardest, as the love between them is obvious. Everyone knew how losing his wife, both to the illness, and now to Egypt, deeply affected Sir Duff Gordon. Sally is glad she has no such goodbye. Had she married, she would never have had the opportunity to travel; a privilege so rarely offered a maid.

On arriving in Egypt the two women are horrified. Filthy children, strange languages, smokey air, the contrast to England is nearly overwhelming. Luckily friends come to assist the ladies. One of them provides a guide, Omar, to help them navigate Egypt. Sally realizes they could never have survived in Egypt without Omar. She studies their guide; he is clean, makes homemade bread and doesn't drink because he is a Muslim. Sally is thankful for his company and his help on their journey down river. “The Nile: green, a thick, viscous green, like milk flowing from a great green cow; often brown, churned up, swirling; occasionally clear to the bottom, sparkling, glassy; never blue.”

Her Lady's interest in the Egyptians, and their way of life, provides the opportunity to explore the local life they encounter on their journey south. Her Lady decides to settle in the city of Luxor where her breathing is the best. Omar inquires about a house, the French House, with a spectacular view of the Nile. Her Lady immediately states that they will be very happy there. Eventually the French House begins to feel like home and they all fall into a busy rhythm. Omar tries to keep a steady stream of visitors and guests, but despite the distractions Lady Duff Gordon continues to deeply miss her family. Especially when Christmas arrives. The Lady retires to her room with letter and gifts from home leaving Sally to enjoy Christmas Day as she will. Sally spends time with Omar. He can see that while the Lady is mourning the loss of her family, Sally is happy; happy with her life in Egypt. He hires a tutor to help the Lady better understand the local language. Sally is amazed and delighted to hear her Lady's Arabic become elegantly fluent. She tries to pass on some of the lessons to Sally leaving them both breathless with baffled laughter. With her new gift of the Arabic language her Lady surrounds herself with the kind of company she had back in England, though everyone is well aware at what an odd figure she is.

“A woman – married, but with no husband present, no children with her either, an invalid who is an adventurer at the same time, possessed of an avid intelligence and a hunger for debate.”

This same woman decides that, for comfort, she will no longer wear her hot, stuffy English clothes and instead opts for “ - men's trousers, brown cotton, loose flowing tied at the ankles – and a long white cotton tunic on top – a man's tunic – plain – and sandals on her bare feet. That was it. And that was it; from then on that was how [her] Lady dressed, like an Egyptian man, a peasant, mind you, a fellahin, with a dash of Bedouin tribesman thrown in when she felt inspired.”

This prompts Sally to inquire where she can purchase a new wardrobe fitting a lady such as herself in Egypt. Omar arranges for a seamstress to come to the house with spools of beautiful cloth and silk. Her Lady watches on encouragingly. She's never had a new article of clothing in her life and suddenly her Lady buys her a whole new wardrobe. It's all too much, Sally is overwhelmed. Tears spill down her cheeks. She has never been more thankful. Afterward, her Lady entertains her guests and is eager to hear them talk of current politics and ancient practices of the mysterious land of the Pharaoh’s. They talk of modern ambitions and often launch into heated debates over sensitive issues. These debates became more and more frequent and more and more intense. With her limited Arabic, Sally understands most of what they're saying and Omar helps fill her in when she loses the context. Sally does not discuss such things with the Lady's guests, but does talk with Omar, as he has a different opinion entirely. However, she feels that she cannot have an opinion on something as obscure to her as Egyptian politics.

The arrival of the ancient tradition of Ramadan, “the holy month of fasting from dawn till dusk,” somehow changes the dynamic of the relationships between the three residents of the French House. Only allowed the one light meal at night, Omar accepts an invitation, due to sense of occasion, to dine with the ladies. They take their meal outside and watch the night sky fade to stars. They dine, Egyptian style, lounging on pillows with the food on the floor in front of them, then spend the night entertaining and amusing one another. Even when the Lady grows to ill to participate, Sally and Omar take the nightly opportunity to get to know each other better. Sally sees their relationship becoming more and more intimate.

“I had never spoken so freely with a man, and Omar had never spoken so freely with a woman.”

Sally enjoys the peace and stillness, but when Ramadan ends a contagion sweeps through the famished village of Luxor leaving death and poverty in it's wake. In the business of taking care of her Lady, Sally is equipped with the remedies and the emergency equipment necessary to help the symptoms of the ill. Their friend, Mustafa Agha, seriously cautions the Lady.

“ - if your treatments do not work for the fellahin, they'll accuse you of poisoning them, or giving them the evil eye.”

“Don't be ridiculous,” the Lady responded as she ordered for a room to treat the villagers.

The Lady had already sent word home to her family asking for extra supplies in preparation to what they might need. After an exhausting day of remedies, Sally and Omar sleep soundly. So much so that Sally must go to awaken Omar the next morning. He is not surprised to see her in his sleeping area. Instead he welcomes her, takes her hand, brushes stray hair away from her face, traces her lips softly with his fingers, kisses her gently. Her first kiss, for in fact she had deliberately avoided kisses, and all that went with them, her whole life. But from Omar on that morning, she allows the kiss, allows so much more. For the first time in her life Sally experiences love amidst the confusion the contagion has brought to the town. This contagion and the civil unrest in the country sparks passionate opinions in Omar. He does not feel comfortable speaking up in front of her Lady, and she notices this.

“... does he talk to you, when I'm not around to hear?”

Sally doesn't answer.

“... for the first time in [Sally's] life, [she] had a secret. A real secret, not just another tiny piece of information [she] had kept to [herself] out of longing to own something, anything. And for the first time in [her] long years of service [she] did not want to tell the whole truth to [her] Lady.”

And what a sweet secret. Sally, thankful for the clinic and the frenzy of activity it produced, tries to keep her mind off her steadily beating heart. Sally and Omar behave as usual around the Lady, but Sally can't help but looks for signs of love from Omar. That night, as Sally is getting ready for bed, there is a small knock at her door. It's Omar, back in her arms, loving her again. Sally is happy with the way things are, working for her Lady with Omar, loving Omar at night, she has a good life. Until one night, while standing in front of Omar, full of desire and the joy of being desired, he notices what she has failed to. She is going to have a baby, his baby. Sally feels foolish and is terrified of telling her Lady. Omar offers to marry her, even though he is already married, but for the time Sally convinces him to carry on as usual. She must deceive her Lady and by doing so she deceives herself.

Her Lady decides to remain in Luxor throughout the summer. The heat is enough to drive away even the most seasoned of Egyptian explorers. It became so intense the whole house was imprisoned in darkness; inside away from the scorching rays and at night, outside for whatever cool air there may be. The long afternoons are the worst. The heat smothers everything. The hot winds blow in sandstorms that nearly bury half the town. Sally thinks that if she were to go outside she would be buried for the future generations to dig up.

“I forgot what it was like not to feel grit in my mouth, between my teeth, under my tongue, all the time.”

Sally doesn't want to upset her Lady with the news of her pregnancy, so Sally keeps their secret all the while trying to convince herself and Omar that her Lady would love a new baby. But some foreboding holds Sally back. Eventually the August suns proves too much for the French House. They make the decision to leave for Cairo. The Lady tries to write her husband, imploring him to meet her there, earlier than expected, but when they arrive, he is not there to greet them. Sally reassures her Lady that he must not have received her letters regarding her change of plans, but Sally can see that her Lady is feeling dejected, cast-aside, banished to Egypt to die. Her eyes say, “I've been gone from him so long, it's as though I'm dead already.”

Omar announces that since he's in his home city he must go visit his family. Sally knows he means his parents, and wife and child. Sally knows it's only right for him to see them, but it reminds her of her precarious position. She knows Omar loves her, and that's what she keeps in her heart when the panic sets in. Luckily her Lady is much to ill to receive them as visitors, and Sally feels that for once her Lady's burden is a benefit to her. Sally has no desire to meet Omar's family. Her Lady's illness is made worse and worse in Cairo. She is intolerant the climate and Sally wants to advise her to return to Luxor to return to her health. No reply ever comes from Sir Alick so the little household continues to wait. Finally, in mid-November Sir Alick arrives. Her Lady is so excited that she allows Sally to fuss over her appearance. She is certain her husband won't recognize her, as she barely recognizes herself.

“I'm neither English or Arab; I've become a kind of creature in between. I look a kind of man/woman, don't I?”

She was thin and brown and had shorn grey hair and in no way resembled the woman her husband had said goodbye to.

“And look at you Sally,” her Lady added. “You've got fat! Omar's cooking is clearly too good for you.”

Sally swallowed her guilt.  'Fat' was better than 'disgraced.'

With the arrival of Sir Alick the comfortable, easy relationships between servant and master are replaced by more formal, sterner English relationships, as was used in the past. Ecstatic over seeing her husband, the Lady's health improves enough for to show her the exotic sights of Cairo. Sally knows her Lady has changed utterly, and Sally worries that her Lady's happiness wouldn't last long. Sir Alick indeed proves Sally right by crushes his wife's happiness with his announcement that he won't be accompanying her back to Luxor. He decides to go on a safari adventure with their oldest daughter Mrs. Ross instead. Lady Duff Gordon's spirit’s sink. When they leave Lady Duff Gordon decides not to go back to Luxor as she should. Sally can see her Lady hopes her husband will inevitably fall in love with Egypt, realize he wants to see more, and will return with her to Luxor. But until then, the Cairo air and her dejected spirit caused the Lady to retreat once more into illness.

Omar visits his family leaving Sally alone all day. The Lady spends time alone in her room, which is utterly unprecedented for her. Sally is left at the mercy of her unwanted thoughts of Omar and his other life out there; out there where she dare not go. His visits leave her desperate and confused, but this only adds an intensity to their increasingly passionate and awkward situation. Eventually, Sir Alick returns, but with more distaste than love for Egypt. He must return to England soon and Sally worries that the husband and wife might never see each other again. Sally feels like she's witnessing the tragic end of a previously loving marriage. Her Lady is being brave and strong, but Sally knows she is devastated over losing her family, her husband, once again. Once he is gone, the little household makes plans to return to the French House in Luxor. On the way, on the Nile, Sally's baby is born. They name him Abdullah, after the Prophet's father. On the boat Omar tends to both Sally's needs as well as her Lady's. Sally assumes that she will continue her duties as her Lady's maid once they reach the French House. Sally clings to the plan that she and Omar will still one day marry. She pictures attending to her Lady while the precious baby sleeps nearby in his basket. She assumes her Lady will coo at him and bounce him.

“Abdullah would be a most welcome, a most venerated member of our Luxor household... but this picture [Sally] had created was beginning to crack in it's frame.”

But Omar finally tells Sally all that he has been trying so hard not to say.

“My Lady does not want to see you, or the child.”

Upset and confused, Sally feels like she's been blasted by his words.

“She blames you entirely,” Omar goes on to explain.

Sally cannot comprehend.

“She is so full of anger and sadness and fear over losing her own family that she cannot allow me to be happy this way,” Sally realizes.

But she continues to hope and believe that her Lady will come around once she is reminded that it's Sally, her faithful Sally.

But Omar isn't finished.

“She wants you to leave the French House... Abdullah must go to my wife, Mabrouka, in Cairo and you must return home to England,” he destroys Sally's life with the deliverance of these orders from Lady Duff Gordon.

She and Omar tried to have the child in secret, yet they both should've known better. Her Lady Duff Gordon is awakened in the middle of the night, on Christmas Eve, to Sally's sounds of agony. She is summoned by a panicked Omar to come and help. This is how the Lady finds out about the pregnancy, about the love affair, about everything. Yet she rolls up her sleeves and dutifully helps deliver the baby safely. That next morning though, alone with this new, bitter knowledge, on the second Christmas away from her home and her family, Lady Duff Gordon is too exhausted to cry. She has been tricked, lied to, her pride wounded. Sally conspired to keep the shocking secret from her.

“... far away from England and all she held dear, her friends, her children, her husband, the man she had married when she was eighteen and loved ever since, her mother... [Sally had] destroyed her Lady's peace [on the Nile.] It was an illusion all along and [Sally] exposed it thus, irrevocably. [The] Lady thought of her son Maurice, almost a man, and her baby, Rainey, five years old – nearly six at home in England, without their mother, without any prospect of seeing their mother. [The] Lady had a thought that had never occurred to her before, a thought that shocked her as deeply as the birth of [Sally'] baby: it might have been better to have stayed in England to die with those she loved around her, than to have come here to live out her Egyptian afterlife. It might have been better to die.”

That thought, that one thought is enough to destroy everything Lady Duff Gordon has tried to create for herself in Egypt. That and the baby. The Lady needs someone to blame and that blame falls squarely and solely with Sally. Sally caused this and that was that. Sally knows that Egyptian law allows Omar to take a second wife, but until he does, Sally is an adulterer, a fact that she has conveniently over-looked. She suspects that her punishment will be cruel; and it is. Omar tries to speak up for Sally's defence. However, the Lady is unmoved, even firm, in her accusal that Sally tricked him too. She refuses to give permission for Omar and Sally to marry.

“I will marry her,” he said. “I will be a father to my child.”

No member of her staff had ever defied her in that way and Sally loves him all the more for trying, though they both know they cannot marry without permission. Claiming to want to avoid further scandal, Lady Duff Gordon finally agrees to let them be married, all the while making it the day as empty and joyless as possible. Despite her considerable efforts, Sally's heart flies with happiness and excitement. She doesn't know what the future looks like, but she is now Omar's wife; though this sends Lady Duff Gordon into a relentless accusation insisting that Sally is plotting to have Omar divorce his first wife in order to make their own marriage legitimate by English standards. She even goes so far to humiliate Omar in front of the distinguished guests at her salon. Omar keeps quiet in his anger yet refuses to visit or even look at Sally for some time after. Sally waits for him in the confines of her cushioned prison trying to hide from the cruelties of her life. Finally, Omar returns to her whispering, 'my wife, my love, my wife.”

The occasion of Lady Duff Gordon's published letters comes and goes as if the whole thing was happening in another life. Yet it sparks a frenzy of guests at their humble home in Egypt. Her friends come to visit, and friends of their friends and friends of those friends as well. All of whom, it seems, are privy to some version of Sally's misadventure. In those lonely days Sally finds solace by reaching into the depths of her memory to bring back a piece of her mother through songs she sings her own baby. These songs link her to something greater and allows her to temporarily leave her life while Omar diligently keeps everything together. He is the sole provider to his family in Cairo, her Lady's only nurse and servant, a father to two young children and a man of Egypt. In his need he swears loyalty to Lady Duff Gordon. His employment there protects him, but his safety makes him despise himself because he cannot supply that same security to his wife, Sally, and their child. The Lady's increasing demands keep him away from them. Even at night the Lady commands he keep his sleeping mat outside her door, should she need anything. One night, she calls out, and he isn't there. She finds him with his little family and the Lady goes wild. Sally loses all hard won invisibility. Omar soothes the Lady and takes her back to bed. His eyes beg apology for leaving Sally behind. He does not risk any more visits at night for several days. Neither of them want to cause any more disturbances.

“Another few weeks,” [the Lady] mumbled. “Another few weeks and I'll send the baby to Cairo and Sally can be on her way. Beginning of May.”

True to her word and not long after, Sally packs her things. Plans have been made for her to leave Luxor, to leave the baby in Cairo and return to England alone with no prospects for a future. But Sally has other plans. Back on the Nile Sally knows that for the first time ever, she has no one to answer to. The Lady has thrown her out, but with that Sally also lost the burden of loyalty. Yes, Sally was going to Cairo, but there she will do what was best for herself and her baby. She vows never to go back to England. Instead, she uses the final wages Lady Duff Gordon gave her for her service to pay for room, board and care for her son. But the task of finding a job to support her and her son is daunting. All she knows is being a maid and Egypt has changed her. She is no longer quite European, no one wants to hire her, and without the necessary connections, usually provided by Lady Duff Gordon, Sally is afraid she is doomed. Determined to find something, anything, she finally wins a job cleaning a filthy, run-down, little hotel for a filthy, run-down, little man. She makes enough to live and get by. Life seems to be going smoothly until one night a man follows her home. Too late, he forces open the door. Too quick, he pushes inside. Too fast, Sally must fight. She fights silently, as to not wake the baby. She fights for her child, for herself, for her love, her safety. She fights with anger and rage over the unfairness of the world. She fights and she wins, but she knows she had been kidding herself. She knows she cannot keep the baby. She knows she must give him to Omar's family.

Meeting his family slams the reality of her predicament around in Sally's head. His parents are real, his wife and child are real, and not at all what Sally expects. They are kind to her, ask about her and tell her that their home is her home. She longs to stay but she knows she cannot. She is a stranger and comforts herself, in the long, lonely nights that follow, with the fact that her baby is with his family, that he is safe. But she can't bear to be away from him and slips away daily to stand unnoticed, outside their house, imagining the life within. Finally, she allows herself to actually go in. They invite her into their lives and tell her she can visit as often as she likes. She makes them a part of her daily routine and she, in turn, becomes part of theirs. Through them Omar finds where she is working. He is shamed, appalled, deeply regretful and Sally knows that she still loves him very much. He gives her money and promises to be back.

Her husbands family question why Sally cannot stay with them in their house. Omar continues to deny Sally their comforts. Sally learns it is because Lady Duff Gordon forbids it. Outraged, Sally confronts the Lady and pleads with her, that after thirty loyal years, to please, give her more money. The Lady is cold and flatly refuses. The whole scene humiliates Omar. He chases Sally as she leaves, angry at her. But Sally has more at stake than Omar and loudly denounces their marriage. She knows that as long as Omar is Lady Duff Gordon's servant, he will not be her husband. Since he cannot allow her to live in his house, he helps her find another job, a better job. Sally has become a problem that takes a toll on everyone in the family. Lady Duff Gordon's decree, made out of anger and wounded pride, nearly succeeds in it's hate filled desire to ruin Sally's life, and what's worse, nearly tears Omar's family apart in the process. But in the end, the illness finally overpowers her and death comes as everyone knew it would. The Lady Duff Gordon is taken from their world allowing the living a chance to repair the damage the decisions of her life have caused.

Winner of the Governor General's Literary award, this book is beautifully told. A powerful statement of love and loyalty and the triumph of life over death this book outlines the probable story of real life character Lady Duff Gordon's loyal maid Sally. Lady Duff Gordon's “Letters from Egypt” were published and prized literary works in London at the time. Her story barely even references her maid, Sally, and our author, Kate Pullinger, took the liberty to suppose Sally's story.

Title: Go for No Author: Richard Fenton & Andrea Waltz

Yes is the destination, no is how you get there.

Imagine going to be one night, then to awaken the next morning in a strange house with no idea of how you got there.  Only this house don't belong to just anyone - it  belongs to you... a wildly successful future version of the person you might one day become, providing you are willing to start doing one simple thing.

"Do you want to achieve success?  If your answer is 'yes', then you need to get more no's.  This book will show you why and how."  Darren Hardy, Publisher, SUCCESS magazine. 

We are introduced to Eric James Bratton, “a wonderful husband, terrific brother and a so-so copier salesman.” It all started with him calling his wife excited to tell her that so early on a Monday he was already at 3 for 3 in successful sales. He had only one more before he reached his quota for the week. The next day, at the office, Eric half joked half complained about all the paperwork sales brought. After a quick break a friend came over and asked Eric to join a focus group. Thinking no, Eric was surprised to hear himself say yes. This yes happened to take up most of his next day. To reward himself he decided to book a round of golf for the very next morning. Knowing he only had one more sale to go he booked a late tee time of 10:30 am. That night he realized that the next day was in fact Thursday, not Wednesday like he thought. Monday he reached 3 sales, Tuesday was paperwork, and Wednesday was devoured by the focus group. He still needed one more sale to hit his quota but had foolishly booked golf for the Thursday morning.

“I'll play quick,” he said to himself.

That night, in a dream, he slipped and fell and knocked his head on a rock in the creek of the golf course. When he woke he realized that he had instead fallen out of bed. He told his wife he might need ice and when she didn't respond he saw that not only was she not there, but he couldn't seem to recognize the room nor the bed he just came from. Confused he discovered a maid cleaning an enormous kitchen. She told him his wife was in Europe buying art. He claimed to have forgotten because of the bump before returning to the bedroom to rest. There, to his horror, in the mirror, he saw that he has aged a good 10 years. He saw grey hair and wrinkles where the night before there had been none. Scared, he questioned the maid about himself. She was clearly concerned for him. She revealed that to her knowledge he wrote books. With disbelief he located 3 books on success written by him. The first one written in 1989. He couldn't believe it and called the number on the back of one of the books in an attempt to find out more. He asked the receptionist to put him through to Eric Bratton. She did and he somehow managed to convince the other him not to call the police. The two Eric's agreed to meet.

The other him took Eric for a nice meal at a restaurant Eric usually couldn't afford. They discussed how their lives had been seemingly identical up until a certain point. They identified a conversation with a district manager named Harold which seemed to be the first difference in their experiences. The other him claimed it was a conversation with Harold that had changed his life. Eric James Bratton, as we know him, could not even recall what Harold had said. The other him recounted the memory. He had made a massive sale at his job at a men's clothing store. When Harold had seen him perform he congratulated him. Eric was proud of himself until Harold had asked him what the customer said no to. He suggested Eric ended the sale early, not the customer. The customer didn't actually say no to anything. It was Eric's perception of spending that prevented him from securing an even bigger sale.

“Your fear of hearing the word no is the only thing standing between you and greatness,” the other Eric stated what he had learned.

He also explained how failure was not opposite of success, it was on the way to success. Failure, or hearing no proved you were on the right path, that you ought to keep going. He realized it was important to fail. The other Eric explained the huge difference between being a failure and failing. A failure failed to try. He tried to drill it into Eric's head.

“Repeat after me: I like to fail.”

“I like to fail,” Eric said halfheartedly.

“I fail big and I fail often.”

“I fail big and often,” Eric repeated.

The other him told him that the most important lesson was “no doesn't have to be debilitating.” They both acknowledged how the other Eric became top salesmen in the chain while the real Eric was fired two months later.

The next day the other him invited Eric to accompany him on some business. Eric accepted and was eager to learn from his alter-ego. He used their time together to question the other, more successful version of himself. He still couldn't quite believe that the willingness to fail was what got his other self success. His other self tried to explain it further, that rejection didn't have to hurt. It could instead be energizing. He explained that it was all in how we perceived no. He told Eric that his company gave out an award to the salesperson who received the most no's. This same person had also been top in sales 4 years in a row.

“... hearing yes is the easy part of the job and teaches you virtually nothing. But learning to hear no over and over again and to never quit... now that builds character and self-esteem.”

He told Eric that people who are nearing their quota often slow down. They think they are almost there. But the quota was a bare minimum. No one ever got ahead by settling for bare minimum. He suggested that Eric set goals to reach 16 no's instead of a goal to reach 4 yes's. If the goal was 16 no's at 3 for 3 on Monday instead of being almost done, Eric would still be behind. Setting goals to hit no will also prevent someone from ending a potential hot streak.

The other him started giving Eric examples of people who succeeded due to their high failure quotient. In other words, “how many times someone was willing to fail before finally succeeding.” He reminded Eric of Abraham Lincoln, R.H. Macy, Thomas Edison, Harland Sanders among others. He revealed the magic word doctors used when they 'failed' by losing a patient; next! He outlined how ridiculous it would be if a doctor quit after one failure. Why wasn't that same logic used for sales? Quit after one no? Ridiculous. He stressed the importance of moving through the pain of loss or rejection. He told Eric to numb himself to no, not by staying away from it, or ignoring it, but by experiencing no so often it lost it's power.

“Do the thing you fear and the fear will go away. Remember, the comfort zone is never static. It's either expanding or shrinking,” his other self reminded him.

During a golf game with some of the other Eric's colleagues, Eric (now known as the other Eric's twin, Edward) asked them what they thought of the concept to go for no. One of the colleagues, Kurt, responded that the average person didn't stay average for long when using the concepts of no. He stated that most people kept imaginary boundaries and those boundaries held them back from new experiences. Cheryl, the other colleague, told Edward that it was like panning for gold. The yes's are the nuggets, but you have to separate and sift through the dirt that is the no's. There's more dirt, and you have to get through it to find a yes, but it makes it fun when you do get that desired nugget. She also taught him that no didn't mean never, it meant not yet. The best salespeople sold through the let-me-think-about-it's and broke through five no's before hitting a yes. Five no's! Most people quit after one. They also helped Edward understand that if you're going to fail, you might as well fail big! A no is a no no matter how big the account.

When it came to the other Eric to give his advice he told the group that as a leader of a team the fear of failure is recognized and the team begins to wonder if they should be afraid of failing too. He went on to suggest that as a leader you should reward people for their failures, not just their successes. It showed your priorities are set on the power of no. The more failures the more successes. He also shared his certainty that all his future successes would only be realized by him continuing to take risks, chances and “showing outrageous courage.”

Before his big presentation he confided in Eric how important it to embrace the concepts and become a success. If he didn't the other Eric, his successful alter-ego, might cease to exist as Eric's future. Both of them depended on Eric's ability to embrace no.

Not long after, Eric was back at home in his reality. He found out he did hit his head falling out of bed and had been in a coma for 4 days. Whatever the experience was, he took the lessons to heart. He became the number one salesmen in his league but was most proud of how many no's he received. After hearing and learning about the power of no from himself during a freak accident, Eric James Bratton realized that his definition of success was indeed backwards and by going for no he became the success he was always supposed to be.

This book is small and is full of entertaining and relevant stories outlining further the power of no. Just as one conversation changed Eric's future, this one book could change yours.

Title: The Alchemist Author: Paulo Coelho

"To realize one's destiny is a person's only obligation." - from The Alchemist
"This story, dazzling in its powerful simplicity and inspiring wisdom, is about an Andalusian shepard boy named Santiago who travels from his homeland in Spain to the Egyptian desert in search of a treasure buried near the Pyramids.  Along the way he meets a Gypsy woman, a man who calls himself king, and an alchemist, all of whom point Santiago in the direction of his quest.  No one knows what the treasure is, or if Santiago will be able to surmount the obstacles along the way.  But what starts out as a journey to find worldly goods turns into a discovery of a treasure found within.  Lush, evocative, and deeply humane, the story of Santiago is an eternal testament to the transforming power of our dreams and the importance of listening to our hearts."

Santiago, a young Spanish boy, sat in an abandoned church at dusk. A sycamore tree grew right out from the center of the sacristy, up through the roof into the open sky above. Santiago was a thoughtful boy, a shepard, and used books for pillows. He loved his sheep, talked to them, and took care to name each one. Santiago had been studying to be a priest, but he knew it was not his passion. He had summoned the courage to tell his father that he’d rather travel, see things, meet people, experience life.

“It's the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting,” the boy stated.

So he followed his desire of becoming a shepard. That desire led him to that church, where he'd recently had a reoccurring dream. In the dream there had been a child telling him to go to Pyramids of Egypt to find a treasure. This intrigued the boy and caused him to seek out a gypsy palm reader. She would interpret the dream, but her price was one-tenth of the treasure he would find. The boy agreed. The old gypsy woman said the dream was telling the boy to travel to Egypt where he would find a treasure. The boy laughed. He couldn't believe the simplicity of the interpretation. He didn't need her to tell him that. Glad he didn't have to pay any money he left the shop. On his way to the plaza he ran into an old man who insisted on chatting with him. This man claimed to be the King of Salem and inquired after the boy's sheep. He too bargained one-tenth, but of the sheep, in exchange for helping the boy find his treasure. He tells the boy he has succeeded in finding his Personal Legend.

“[A Personal Legend is] what you've always wanted to accomplish,” the old king explained. “Everyone, when they are young, knows what their Personal Legend is... but as time passes, a mysterious force begins to convince them that it will be impossible for them to realize their Personal Legend.” He goes on to suggest, “this mysterious force appears to be negative, but actually shows you how to realize your Personal Legend... To realize one's destiny is a person's only real obligation. And when you want something, all the universe conspires to helping you to achieve it... People are capable, at any time in their lives, of doing what they dream of.”

The King reminded the boy of the proposed deal. One-tenth of his flock for information regarding his treasure. The boy knew it'd be easier to keep the sheep and keep being a shepard. But the dream and the gypsy woman's interpretation had him curious. But being a shepard was the life he knew best. It was comfortable. 'He had to choose between something he had become accustomed to and something he wanted to have.' In the end the boy decided to pursue the treasure of his Personal Legend and go to Egypt to see the Pyramids. He gave the sheep to the king and sold the rest to one of his friends, who, coincidentally enough, had always wanted to be a shepard. In exchange, the king explained about omens which are signs, usually from the natural environment, that would prove the boy was on the right path. The king also said that giving up the sheep had helped the boy make a decision. He told the boy to follow the omens and later that afternoon the boy purchased a ticket to Africa in pursuit of his Personal Legend.

His initial excitement turned to awe as he found himself, not two hours from his home and suddenly 'a stranger in a strange land.' He was relieved to find a boy his own age who happened to speak Spanish. This guide promised to get the boy to Egypt in two days but instead promptly stole everything the boy had. Left with nothing, the boy was upset and considered quitting. He thought it must be a bad omen.

“I'm like everyone else – I see the world in terms of what I would like to happen, not what actually does,” he thought bitterly.

'He realized that he had to choose between thinking of himself as the poor victim of a thief [or] as an adventurer in quest of his treasure... He had not a cent in his pocket, but he had faith.' With this faith the boy began to recognize a common language, one without words; a language of the world. It was a language he and his sheep had used to travel the Spanish plains. A language that showed them where food and water was to keep them alive. But with no money and nowhere to go, the boy had no choice but to find work. He managed to haggle a job with an old crystal merchant. He wanted to make enough money to go home. He was discouraged further from his Personal Legend when the merchant disdainfully dismissed the Pyramids as nothing more than a pile of rocks you could build in a backyard. The old merchant also spoke about the thousands of kilometers of desert sand stood between the boy and his treasure. Disheartened, the boy resolved to give up on his Personal Legend.

The merchant revealed his own dream to the boy; a dream of traveling to Mecca, and how the dream had become his only reason to live. He admitted that he was afraid, afraid to leave, afraid that if he realized his dream he'd have nothing else to live for. He was convinced that going there could never be as perfect as it was in his dream. The old merchant was afraid to be disappointed by his dream. So he stayed home.

Working for the merchant provided the boy enough money to not only return home, but to return home and double his flock He remembered the old king's advice, “you must always know what you want.” The boy worked hard because he had something to work towards. He offered tips and suggestions to the merchant and business increased. One suggestion of serving tea to the customers in the crystal they were selling forced the merchant to think about his business as a lifestyle in a whole new way. It made him question himself.

“I don't want to change anything because I don't know how to deal with change. I'm used to the way I am...” he tells the boy. “But,” he continues, “every blessing ignored becomes a cures.” The merchant felt guilty. “Because I know the things I should be able to accomplish, and I don't want to do so.”

'They were conversing in Arabic, and the boy was proud of himself... There had been a time when he thought that his sheep could teach him everything he needed to know... but they could never have taught him Arabic.' In the end the merchant listened to the boy's suggestions and business expanded even further.

The boy had been planning for almost two years to return home as a wealthier shepard. Again the old kings advice returned to echo in his ears, “never stop dreaming... follow the omens.” The boy thought about his sheep and his time as a shepard. He knew that although his sheep couldn't have taught him Arabic, they did teach him 'that there was a [universal] language in the world that everyone understood... It was the language of enthusiasm, of things accomplished with love and purpose, and as a part of a search for something believed in and desired.'

“When you want something, all the universe conspires to help you achieve it,” the old king had said.

But the boys head was crowded with thoughts of his old life, the one he was comfortable with. Hadn't the merchant told him that the Pyramids were just an old pile of rocks anyway? So he left knowing what he'd miss, but confident in his new skills. He thought that he could conquer anything. Which, ironically, made him unhappy with his decision to go back to his sheep. He wondered if it wasn't easier to dream like the old merchant had. But the boy knew that although he could go back to his sheep at anytime he may never get another chance to see the Pyramids. He was only two hours from home and decided instead to think of it as two hours closer to his treasure. He knew why he wanted to go back to his sheep. He was afraid of the unknown desert but admitted that it was only unknown because he hadn't been there yet. In the end he decided to risk it and follow his dream. He was tremendously happier for it. Until he quickly realized that 'making a decision was only the beginning of things.'

“When someone makes a decision [they're] really diving into a strong current that will carry [them] to places [they] had never dreamed of,” the boy reflects.

He was waiting for a caravan to take him into the desert. While he waited he met an Englishman who was going into the desert to find a legendary alchemist. He wanted this alchemist to help him with his own interest and study of alchemy. The two travelers begin to chat. The boy is reaffirmed in his knowledge of the old king and recognized meeting the Englishman as a lucky omen. That and the fact that the caravan was leaving that particular day was also a good omen to the boy. 'There were almost 200 people and 400 animals – camels, horses, mules and fowl... women, children... men with swords at their belts and rifles slung on their shoulders.' As they set out, and the caravan silently progressed through the hot winds, sand and endless horizon, the boy thought back and began 'to understand that intuition was really a sudden immersion of the soul into the universal current of life, where the histories of all people are connected, and we are able to know everything, because it's all written there.' The boy also noted the dedication in which the caravan had in reaching it's goal destination. 'No matter how many detours and adjustments... the caravan moved toward the same... point.' That, of course, is made easier by the specific goal. They had an exact direction, they knew exactly where they were headed. Knowing precisely where 'there' is provided steady motivation to push onwards into the unknown desert the boy had once been so afraid of.

He overheard a camel driver say, “people need not fear the unknown if they are capable of achieving what they need and want.”

The boy and the Englishman talked about that common connection; between each of them, between them and the earth, between the caravan and the desert. They realized that they were each talking about the same thing even though they had come to know it through different ways. It was a universal lesson. They vowed to study each others' points of view, the boy by reading the Englishman's books and the Englishman by watching and observing life. While reading, the boy realized that alchemy, as the Englishman was pursuing it, was telling the exact same story as the boy had seen from watching and observing life. The Englishman was irritated and accused the boy of oversimplifying everything. The boy continued to believe that it was the Englishman who was in fact over-complicating things. The Englishman thought the 'boy too primitive to understand.' However, boy learned that 'everyone had [their] own way of learning.' He understood that they were both in search of their own distinct Personal Legend in spite of not learning the same way. Ultimately they got little from the others way of experiencing life and returned to what is familiar to them.

During all this there was war in the desert where the caravan was traveling. The boy noticed that the camel driver seemed unaffected when so many were terribly afraid.

“I'm alive,” the camel driver responded. “When I'm eating, that's all I think about. If I'm on the march, I just concentrate on marching. If I have to fight, it will be just as good a day to die as any other,” he explained. “If you can concentrate always on the present, you'll be happy.”

The boy tried to remember those words and tried to apply the concept to his own life.

As they reached the oasis they boy was in awe at the enormity of what he saw. There were fifty thousand palm trees scattered with brightly coloured tents. The oasis was a refuge from the tribal wars and the people in the caravan were to remain at the oasis until the wars were over. The desert was no longer safe. The boy, eager to continue, got discouraged again. It seemed that his Personal Legend was more difficult than he had hoped. He knew he had to be patient, that the omens would continue to come. He remembered the words of the camel driver. “Eat when it's time to eat. And move along when it's time to move along.”

The Englishman persuaded the boy to help him find the famed alchemist. They were forced to ask for directions, but no one seemed helpful. The Englishman was frustrated, and that made the boy sad. His friend was on his Personal Legend and the old king said that 'the entire universe made an effort to help [them] succeed.' The boy wondered when the universe would step in for them. Finally they met a young woman at a well. She smiled at Santiago and he knew without a doubt that he had been waiting for that smile his whole life. It was an omen. He found himself in love and her name was Fatima. She told them where to find the alchemist they were looking for. They thanked her and left. However, the boy returned to the well at the same time each day to talk with her and be with her. He told her about omens and his Personal Legend. She encouraged him to continue to pursuit his treasure.

“If I am really a part of your dream, you'll come back one day,” she promised him.

The boy was so happy he went to tell the Englishman. He found him at his tent in front of a strange furnace.

His eyes were bright as he told the boy, “I'm beginning what I could have started ten years ago. But I'm happy I didn't wait twenty years.”

The boy then took his own thoughts out into the desert. He contemplated love, the universe, Personal Legends, the ancient desert, and omens, when he got a vision of an army invading the oasis. The boy tried to forget what he saw, but knew he had to share the vision. The old king told him to 'always heed the omens' and this one he couldn't ignore. He went to find his friend, the camel driver, because the boy knew he'd understand. The camel driver advised the boy to talk with the oasis chieftains. When he does they question him to find out if what he saw was true. Finally, after much deliberation, they agreed to listen to the warning. They ordered to prepare the oasis for attack. They added that if the vision was wrong, they'd kill the boy instead, for making them break Tradition. Oases were to remain a refuge, neutral grounds, unarmed. The claim of attack went against the unwritten rules in the Tradition. If the attack did not come, they would have broken Tradition for nothing. The boy was frightened of such a risk, but happy to die in attempting to protect Fatima and her home.

As it turns out his life was spared, the vision had come true. The oasis was attacked by tribesmen on a seemingly peaceful expedition. Luckily, the oasis had been armed and prepared. The chieftains praised the boy for bringing them the omen and saving the oasis. They ask him to be the Counselor; a great honor. It was after this that the alchemist finally contacted the boy by challenging his motives. Luckily the boy was honest about following his Personal Legend, the alchemist seemed to know exactly what the boy was saying. The boy tried to tell the alchemist about the Englishman, who had set out across the desert to meet with him, but the alchemist insisted that the wind told him that it was Santiago, the boy, who had been coming.

“When a person really desires something, all the universe conspires to help that person realize his dream,” the alchemist echoed the words of the old king.

The boy told the alchemist about the treasure he had already found. He had Fatima and not only that, he had money and camels. The alchemist pointed out that none of that had been found at the Pyramids. The alchemist poured them both some wine. It helped the boy relax.

“Isn't wine prohibited here?” he asked.

“It is not what enters men's mouths that's evil,” said the alchemist, “it's what comes out of their mouths that is.”

The next night the alchemist tested the boy again, this time his challenge was to for the boy to find life in the desert. With only the light of the moon to guide him the boy admitted that there was certainly life in the desert, but he didn't know how to find it.

“Life attracts life,” were the alchemists wise words.

The boy understood, and allowed his horse to wander over the desert sands. Eventually they came across a snake. It was the omen the alchemist needed. He decided then to lead the boy through the desert to the Pyramids despite the danger of the armies. The boy tried to argue that he'd rather stay with Fatima and claimed she was all he needed. The alchemist then proceeded to outline the dissatisfaction the boy would have in his life should he abandon his Personal Legend. He would be happy, yes, for a time, and then his heart would only talk of what it missed. The boy knew he was right and agreed to continue his Personal Legend to the Pyramids. 'He immediately felt peace in his heart.'

Saying goodbye to Fatima the boy told her he loved her because the whole universe conspired for them to meet. He promised to return. She tearfully vowed to 'send her kisses on the wind, hoping the wind would touch the boys face.'

“Don't think about what you left behind,” the alchemist advised as they set out early the next morning.

But the boy couldn't help it. The days passed and hot turned to cold, the moon changed and the boy continued to dream of the oasis and the love he had found there. The wind brought stories of battles fought nearby carrying the sickly sweet smell of blood. The wars raged on around them and the alchemist's lessons continued. He told the boy that action was the only way to learn and that other alchemists had failed because 'they were seeking the treasures of their Personal Legend without wanting actually to live out the Personal Legend.'

“The wise men understood that this natural world was only an image and a copy of paradise. The existence of this world was simply a guarantee that there existed a world that was perfect. God created the world so that through its visible objects men could understand his teachings and the marvels of his wisdom. That was what I mean by action,” the alchemist explained.

The alchemist tells the boy to listen to his heart. The boy found this was not easy to do. He found it was never silent.

“Wherever your heart is, that is where you'll find your treasure,” the alchemist answers when the boy asks why, why was it important to listen to your heart?

“My heart is agitated,” the boy complained about his hearts passionate emotions.

“Good,” the alchemist responds. “Your heart is alive. Keep listening... You will never be able to escape from your heart. So you better listen to what it has to say.”

“My heart is afraid it will... suffer,” the boy admits.

“The fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams.”

The boy's heart told him that there was a treasure waiting for everyone, but seldom did anyone go in search of it anymore. Their hearts began to speak more and more softly. The hearts don't want the people to suffer when they realize they aren't following their dreams.

“Every search begins with beginner's luck. And every search ends with the victors being severely tested. That's the point at which most people give up,” the alchemist warns. “When you possess great treasures within you and try to tell others, seldom are you believed.”

The two travelers pass an encampment of one of the tribes. The boy assumes there is no danger. The alchemist became angry with the boy and warned him never to assume. There was still war. As if on cue two men ride up. However, there was no danger at that time and they were allowed to continue on their quest. They were only two days from the Pyramids. The boy was happy, until later that evening when danger finally showed up. A more powerful army camp detained them as spies. The alchemist gave all the boy's gold to the warriors and told them the boy was an extraordinary alchemist who wanted to show his powers. They gave him three days to get ready. His task? To turn himself into the wind. The boy was understandably upset.

“Your money saved us for three days. It's not often that money saves a person's life,” the alchemist scolded him.

He also mentioned to the boy that the fear of failure was the only thing that could stop someone from living their Personal Legend.

“I'm not afraid of failing,” the boy claimed. “It's just that I don't know how to turn myself into the wind.”

The alchemist wasn't worried for himself as he already knew how to turn himself into the wind.

3 days passed. The tribesman expected the boy to perform this miracle. The boy started by looking out over the desert. He realized that he had spent many months in it and still only knew a small part of it. He told the desert that somewhere out there was the woman he loved. To get back to her he needed the deserts help.

“What is love?” the desert asked.

The boy tried to explain about the connection with everything, the cycle of life and death. He tried to explain about love. The desert couldn't understand.

“Somewhere in your sands there is a woman waiting for me,” the boy pleaded.

The desert agreed to help as much as it could, but it couldn't change him into the wind. It instructed the boy to ask for help from the wind. A breeze picked up. The tribesmen noticed, the alchemist smiled. The wind knew what was going on. '[The winds] know everything and blow across the world without a birthplace and with no place to die.'

“Help me,” the boy implored the wind.

The wind didn't think it was possible. They were simply too different. The boy appealed to the wind's curiosity and begged the wind to help him so they could talk about the experience. The wind wanted very much to talk about the experience of being the wind, but it didn't know how to turn a boy into the wind and certainly knew nothing about love. The wind suggested the boy ask the heavens.

“Fill this place with a sandstorm [to blot] out the sun. Then I can look to the heaven without blinding myself,” the boy suggested.

The tribesmen were in awe! They could no longer see anything. Some of them were afraid. Meanwhile, the boy was asking the sun about love, about the connection everything shared. The sun claimed he could see it, that connection, that it communicated with it. The sun claimed to love the earth.

“It is not love to be static like the desert, nor is it love to roam the world like the wind. And it is not love to see everything from a distance, like you do. Love is the force that transforms and improves the Soul of the World. It is we who nourish [it] and that's where the power of love comes in. Because when we love, we always strive to become better than we are.”

“Nature knows me as the wisest in creation,” the sun said. “But I don't know how to turn you into the wind. Speak to the hand that wrote all.”

'A current of love rushed from the boys heart and the he began to pray... it was a prayer without words or pleas... The boy reached through to the Soul of the World and saw that it was part of the Soul of God. And he saw that the Soul of God was his own soul, and that he, a boy, could perform miracles.' The tribesmen were terrified and a legend was born. The chief, with a new found respect for Allah, provided the boy and the alchemist an escort party to see them safely across the desert. This party accompanied them until they were only three hours from the Pyramids. From there the boy must go alone.

Inside a monastery further up the path the alchemist gave the boy a gift. He showed the boy it was indeed possible to turn lead into gold. He splits this gold disc in four parts. He gave one to the boy as repayment for the tribesmen, he keeps one and he gives one to the monk who let them into the monastery

“This goes well beyond my generosity,” the monk responds.

“Don't say that again. Life might be listening and give you less next time,” the alchemist warns.

The fourth piece he leaves with the monk should the boy need it on the way back. The boy argues that he is about to find his treasure.

The alchemist reminds the boy that he's lost his gold twice already and tells him an old saying, “everything that happens once will never happen again. But everything that happens twice will surely happen a third time.”

As the boy prepares for his journey to the Pyramids the alchemist reminded him of his duty to reach his Personal Legend.

He said goodbye to the boy and told him to follow his heart. “No matter what [they do], every person on earth plays a role in the history of the world. And normally he doesn't know it,” were the alchemist's final words.

The boys heart responded telling him to watch for where his tears would fall. That is where his treasure would be. It had been a month since he had last seen Fatima. A month since he had been in the comfort of the oasis. Exhausted he climbed one last dune and at the top, illuminated brightly in the light of the full moon, he could clearly see the 'solemn and majestic' Pyramids. The boy fell to his knees and wept. They were so beautiful. He knew that the old merchant was wrong. The Pyramids were not just a pile of rocks one could build in a yard. The boy wept with happiness. He knew he had made it. He had followed his Personal Legend. He knew that he could now go back to Fatima satisfied. But he wisely reminded himself 'that no project was ever completed until it's objective had been achieved.' He looked down at where his tears had fallen. There, a scarab beetle, valued by Egyptians, walked through the sand where the boys tears fell. It was an omen! The boy began to dig furiously. Not long a group of strange men came and harassed him. They demanded to know what he was doing. They stole the gold the alchemist gave him and beat him until the boy was afraid he was going to die.

“I'm digging for treasure!” the boy managed to scream.

The men stop their blows and allowed the boy to tell them about his dream to find treasure. They assumed he was stupid, and a thief. Before they left, one of them told the boy of a stupid dream he'd had once telling him to find treasure in a church in Spain. This particular church had a sycamore tree growing right out through the middle of it. He told the boy it was stupid to follow such dreams.

This book is an engaging tale of unexpected adventure. The suggestion that a treasure awaits us all is a powerful statement that inspires the reader to investigate the possibility of their own Personal Legend. It has a way of illuminating certain cultural questions and providing surprising answers to these long debated ideas. The Alchemist is a story of universal lessons told as an entertaining tale of a simple shepard as he dare to take on his own Personal Legend. It challenges the reader to look at their dreams and question what they could do to get closer to what they desire. It shows that life is truly surprising and delightful if we trust, and have faith.

Title: The Elephant Man, Author: Christine Sparks

"John Merrick had lived for more then twenty years imprisoned in a body that condemned him to a miserable life in the workhouse and to humiliation as a circus sideshow freak. But beneath that tragic exterior, within that enormous head, thrived the soul of a poet, the heart of a dreamer, the longings of a man. Merrick was doomed to suffer forever – until the kind Dr. Treaves gave him his first real home in the London Hospital and the town's most beautiful and esteemed actress made possible Merrick's cherished dream of human contact – and love."


The forcefulness of the very first line in the book is shocking to the reader, even for someone who is already familiar the infamous Elephant Man. "A wicked birth... monstrous... evil..." These words spark a number of new and unanswered questions that make us eager to keep reading. This story is based on the real life of John Merrick. The book sets the stage in the summer of 1889 in London, England.


The main character, Dr. Treaves, was a circus with his family and was eagerly searching for the Freak Tent. After finding it, and going in alone, Dr. Treaves encountered one man inside who raved,


"This is too much. They should not allow it – they should not allow it."


The first description we get of John Merrick, our Elephant Man, is of his feet “ - so knotted with veins and lumps, and so covered with scaly skin," and goes on to state that, "whatever was behind that curtain was genuinely monstrous."


Treaves noticed a depiction of the creature. "It was a crudely painted, life-sized portrait of a man turning into an elephant... the artist had somehow managed to depict the agony of a man undergoing a hideous transformation that he had no power to stop." While reading the depiction Treaves overheard an argument between an alderman and the Freak Show Proprietor.


"This exhibit degrades all who see it, as well as the poor creature himself," insisted the alderman.


"He's a freak!" the other bellowed. "How else is he to live?"


The alderman continued. "Freaks are one thing. No one objects to freaks, but this is entirely different."


He simply had to find out what was behind that curtain. Treaves left the tent vowing to find that freak. He was interested in the abnormalities of life. He was a doctor who operated on industrial wounds. The author paints a grizzly scene of efficiency and duty. The coldness of his methodical doctoring is reflected in the weather beyond the hospital walls. Knowing that he must find the object of his curiosity, Treaves left the hospital for an errand. We are led into a dirty, dingy shop, down a rickety staircase to a cramped. Damp cellar. In the back of the cellar is a curtain who's presence hid the treasure he coveted. Treaves saw the freak for the first time cowering beneath a dirty blanket, freezing in the dark.


"Treaves could hear a tune whistled by an errand boy, the companionable hum of the traffic in the road, and the footsteps of a world going about it's business unconscious of this dank, smelly cellar and the figure that waited in dreadful isolation." The Elephant Man was treated appallingly in horrid, unfit conditions, being commanded and gawked at. Even Treaves, a doctor of deformities of both disease and mutilation, gasped involuntarily and was shocked at what he saw.


The description of his first sight of the Elephant Man is challenging to read. Our minds have a difficult time creating the grotesque proportions of the image and it is not made easier by the intense examples of abnormal growths. Only one arm, the left, is described as being "... delicately shaped with fine skin. It was a hand that a woman might have envied."


"His head was enormous and misshapen, it's circumference as big as a mans waist. From the brow there projected a huge bony mass, almost obscuring the right eye, and the nose was a lump of flesh recognizable only by it's position.

From the upper jaw projected another mass of bone that protruded from the mouth like a stump, turning the upper lip inside out, making the mouth little but a slobbering aperture. It was this that had been exaggerated in the painting to make it appear to be a rudimentary trunk. The head was almost bald, except for a handful of lank, black hair on the top. At the back of the head hung a bag of spongy skin, resembling cauliflower.


His right arm was enormous and shapeless, the hand like a knot of tuberous roots. Indeed, it could barely be called a hand; it was more like a fin, or a paddle, with the back and the palm being exactly alike."


As a doctor, Treaves was intrigued by the Elephant Man and tried to learn more. Tiny pieces of the Elephant Man's past were scarcely revealed. Treaves bartered with the proprietor, Bytes, to hire the Elephant Man for study. His search for something of this magnitude had reached a satisfying end, and Treaves had his own agenda for the Elephant Man.


We are soon introduced to a new character. The head nurse, Mrs. Mothershead is presented to us as, "an inflexible woman in her early fifties with a hard powerful face." The question of her name, Mrs. Mothershead is aroused, as no one had ever met Mr. Mothershead. "Somehow authority sat more easily on a married woman, even if the title was only one of courtesy."


Mrs. Mothershead character presents us with the evolution of nursing with what is revealed of her background. We see her only in her working life, which was where she got her first impression of the Elephant Man. "She could not tell whether it was male, or female, as the left hand was the only part visible. This, and the fact that it was walking upright were all that identified it as human. The figure was enveloped in a black cloak so long that it swept the floor. On it's head was a very large black hat with a wide brim, and sewn round the edge of this brim was a grey flannel curtain that dropped down to the collar of the cloak. A small hole had been cut... about where the left eye should be."


Treaves collected him from her at the reception in the hospital and made the arduously slow journey, with his new companion, towards the privacy of his office. The Elephant Man was “stoically oblivious” to the stares from the others in the hospital, but Treaves was acutely and painfully aware of the context of those stares as, "jeering curiosity." The Elephant Man was, "... immovable in the silent agony of his own world."


Attempts to communicate with the Elephant Man left Treaves frustratingly no closer to finding out more about this wretched being. When Treaves examined the patient he was loathed to discover the utmost detail of his monstrous deformities in the light of the office. Both the reader and the doctor get a better understanding of the Elephant Man in more intimate conditions. Treaves begins to understand the malady's in a more scientific light and leaves the reader hints that there could be a logical explanation for his hideous appearance.

Treaves schemes to show off his prized subject at the meeting of the Pathological Society. He took glory and pride in his potentially lucrative discovery, and was eager to boast of his findings. He mentioned his past dealings with deformities of all kinds, but introduced the Elephant Man as, "... a degraded or perverted version of a human being." When it was over, Treaves struggled with the guilt of treating this creature as less than human. He prayed the patient was an imbecile; unaware of how life treated him.


Proof of cruelty and it's limits were written with callousness being heightened by the creature's apparent helplessness. Without full use of it's limbs, it had no defences and no ability to get away quickly. The Elephant Man was at the mercy of those around him. Treaves rescued him and for the first time realized the appalling conditions the Elephant Man was forced to live in, day after monotonously cruel day. Treaves's kindness must have been a tantalizing dream for someone in such hopeless conditions. Interestingly enough, Treaves actually saw the proprietor, or the owner of the Elephant Man, Bytes, as more disgusting and revolting simply because of his abhorrent character flaws.


Treaves moved his patient into the Isolation Ward of the hospital; a cleaner, warmer, more acceptable room. Treaves left the Elephant Man with promises of safety and although the Elephant Man made no motion of acknowledgement, it eased Treaves mind nonetheless. To establish a connection, Treaves realized that words weren't penetrating through to understanding. He moved to touch the squalid being. "[Treaves] could feel the instant flinch backwards... and for a moment [the patients] eyes were... human, pleading."


Treaves introduces the indomitable Mrs. Mothershead to the unfortunate patient and is surprised and relieved to see her unaffected by the Elephant Man's stench and appearance. She simply went about her duties with alarming efficiency. They bathed the monster, slowly scrubbing months, maybe years, of layered filth of his gruesome. This gave Treaves a chance to better examine the growths and deformities plaguing this man's body. Working together the doctor and head nurse begin to unravel his likely childhood.


"... he'd have to have had care. The very fact that he's alive bears that out. But where?" Treaves wonders.

"The workhouse," said Mrs. Mothershead.


The arrival of Treaves's kindness lurked the arrival of a more unsavoury character. We get to know Jim Renshaw through a series of self-confessions. He proclaimed himself to be a man who enjoyed a "little bit of fun." He was an immoral troublemaker accustomed to always getting what he wanted. Through fear, he ruled those around him. Unfortunately, he worked the night shift at the hospital and paid a visit to the newest, isolated patient. Being a bully, that visit was hardly social.


Treaves had misgivings about leaving his patient alone at the hospital during the night. He knew something of this nature needed constant protection. However, he was helpless to oblige due to two single facts. The Elephant Man was not initially welcome. Treaves's boss, the Chairman of the hospital, had already made that perfectly clear, and aside from that, there was no one to watch him.


When Treaves arrived at the hospital the next morning, he could tell from his patients behaviour that something has terrified him. He noticed details amiss when he entered the room; evidence from Renshaw's visit the night before, but he suspected nothing. Instead, he was frustrated by his patients lack of comprehension and sought to teach it to speak. His efforts were a success, and it gave him hope that he could convince the hospital to let him stay. Being able to talk showed that the patient was truly human, and deserving of medical attention.


Treaves wrestled with the persistent question, was the patient intelligent, or not? This proved a dilemma as both answers required different courses of action. While Treaves struggled to find a way to be sure, Renshaw was back at the hospital paying another late night visit to the poor, wretched soul, scaring him frightfully.


That same afternoon would be Treaves's only chance to convince the Chairman to concede to let the patient stay. After a successful session, Treaves was sure that the Chairman would be pleased. Treaves couldn't fight back a moment of guilt in using the Elephant Man for his personal gain. “On the very day he was to try and convince [the Chairman] of Merrick's humanity he had fallen into the vulgar error of thinking of him as 'a specimen.'” He was faced with a cold-hard question of motives. Was he only trying “... to fool the world that his specimen was a human being, so that he could go on having the use of him as a specimen?”


He had tried to teach his patient some polite conversation and a verse from the Bible in hopes that his God-fearing boss would find favour in it's recital. He was pleased with Merrick’s attempts and hoped they will be enough. Both men got a lesson in humility when Merrick proved not only capable of conversation, but also revealed that he had learned to read many years ago by a sick Vicar he had known in a hospital from his youth, who also taught him the glory of God's love.


“And do you believe that?” questioned the Chairman.

“Oh, yes. Else how would Mr. Treaves have found me?”


The sensitive human nature of Merrick's was fully apparent now. We get a sweet glimpse into his inner thoughts and how all the sounds, especially the voices, of the hospital teased him. Especially the nurses. He had little to no experience with women and we see his desire to get to know them better. He watched them, enthralled, from his window as the shifts changed. “To his enchanted eyes every girl was pretty. Every normal, properly proportioned face gleamed with youth and health; every smile, however tired, was radiant. Now and then laughter floated up to him like music from another planet.” “He felt as close to happiness as he ever had in his life.”


As we are pulled deeper into his most private thoughts, we are lead, for the first time, to thoughts of his mother. His memories are supported by his only belonging; a worn picture of her. “It was a photograph, battered and creased, but still discernible as the picture of a young woman of extraordinary beauty.” These thoughts of his mother naturally lead through to his childhood and into the present where all his life he had been plagued by those who wanted to exploit and abuse him. That day was no different when he was confronted by Renshaw who took delight in scaring and bullying the abused young man. Yet “[the Elephant Man] must just keep quiet and bear it, as he had kept quiet and borne so much of his life.”


“Any attempts to [find out more about his life] reduced him to the deepest distress, turning him again into a babbling, confused creature, incapable of any communication save a moan of misery.” Very slowly Merrick began to peel back the layers of his life for the benefit of Treaves. We are thrown unceremoniously into the Elephant Man's world; it was an “... unending hell of deformity and life as a public spectacle.” As readers, we are pitched into the truth of his world and through “sympathetic imagination” we, for a moment, live the life he lived. With, “... grief of abandonment, the freezing sense of being alone in this world.” Abused and neglected he ended up in the paupers hospital at age 7 where he met the Vicar and was taught to read and write. But that solace soon ended and he found himself a freak in a circus; treated no better than the animals.


After hearing his tragic story, Treaves takes a private moment to “...spew out the savage shame he felt for his own species.” In his rant, he discovered something utterly astonishing. In spite of a revolting upbringing, Merrick “remained sensitive, intelligent – and lovable. His nature is gentle and affectionate. He's without cynicism or resentment, and in all he's told [Treaves] I've never heard him utter an unkind word about anyone.”


Treaves continued to wrestle with the guilt. “As his pity and understanding grew, so did his pain and he wondered how he could ever have regarded Merrick as merely a specimen.” Treaves had never been so acutely aware of the fact that even he, a man of society, a learned doctor and gentleman, made assumptions and judged by appearance. “... as much cruelty was committed by single-minded men wearing blinders as by men of conscious evil.”


Merrick was awarded two small, cozy rooms on the ground floor of the hospital. It was the first time he'd lived somewhere other than a workhouse, a carnival trailer or as a patient in a hospital. That step into a nicer society urged his desire to visit a real house. Treaves decided to let him meet his wife as a guest for tea in their home. At first, she didn't like the idea and was sure she'd hate Merrick. When she met him for the first time, she realized that “he is afraid of me. He is afraid he will see horror and revulsion in my face, so he protects himself by looking away first.” This revelation made her see him as a lonely child. She pitied him and showed him pictures of her family. He then volunteered the picture of his mother and she got a rare glimpse into his most inner longings to belong.

“She was an angel. She would hold my head and sing to me. She was so kind... You must not think ill of her. It's not her fault... I'm sure I must have been a great disappointment to her.”


Mrs. Treaves responded, “No son as loving as you are could ever be a disappointment.”


“If only I could find her. If only she could see me now, here, with such lovely friends... Then maybe she would love me as I am. I've tried so hard to be good.”


Soon we get another glimpse into the longings of his heart. “It was easy in this room without mirrors to forget what he was, and think that a pretty girl might talk to him at her ease, might smile and laugh, and that he might see reflected in her friendly eyes the image of the man he longed to be.” We can feel the full force of his wanting to fit in.


The Chairman offered to write a letter to the Times magazine in an appeal for charity to help fund, or find, Merrick a permanent home. This magazine publication fell into the hands of some of the richest and most notable people in London Society, including Madge Kendal, celebrated actress, member of high society and reader of Times magazine. She vowed to meet him, and did. Treaves tried to soften the blow that was meeting Merrick for the first time, by showing visitors a picture of him.


“... no photograph... could prepare anyone for the piteous outrage of nature that was John Merrick.” “Physically Merrick had surpassed [Madge Kendal's] worst nightmares. But now, as she forced herself to talk to him, she found herself confronted by a wistful, gentle personality, who's words, though a little indistinct, were courteous and even charming. It disturbed her to discover that mingled with her pity was a liking for the person he was.”


She recognized his fate as a man with nothing. Over quoted lines from Shakespeare's 'Romeo and Juliet' she was resolved to give him something every man needed. “She put all the gentleness and tenderness of her woman's soul in the effort to lay her lips against the corner of his distorted mouth.” At the hands of a beautiful woman, John Merrick experienced his first, and last kiss.


Their visit made the headlines and her endorsement won him a spot on the Ladies Gazette. “... Mr. Merrick has never been properly presented to London Society. But knowing that wherever Mrs. Kendal goes, others inevitably follow. The question arises – will London Society present itself to him?” “They [came] to chat to him as though he was just anyone and gradually I think that's how he's beginning to think of himself.”


Mrs. Mothershead, believed these visits no better than the ogling crowds who used to stare at him in the circus freak shows. Treaves argued back.


“Was it not better to allow him to continue in this happy ignorance, even at the cost of a small deception?”


Through it all, Treaves watches Merrick’s new life unfold, revealing the nicest human qualities apparent in his personality. Merrick's innocent and beautiful soul caused Treaves to look at his own. What he saw there made him feel ugly. He asked if Merrick needed anything else.


“Oh no, there is nothing. I have everything. You have given me everything I could possibly want. I am happy every hour of the day.”


No sooner does Merrick have his very own home for the first time ever, than who should show up? His old owner, Bytes, lead by the bully, Renshaw. There was a crowd this time, and in a drunken frenzy they all helped push and pull Merrick through the open window. After shoving him around and feeding him alcohol, Merrick soon became disoriented. He desperately searched for help. “They were silent now, circling him like a pack of dogs closing in on a terrified rabbit. He swept his eyes round the circle... seeking some spark of human mercy in any of them. But they were animals.”


Eventually, the crowd dispersed, and the immediate horror seemed to have ended. Until Bytes slunk out of the darkness to reclaimed his property back into an old, familiar nightmare. Almost without resistance, due to years of subservient behaviour, Merrick was led away.

When Treaves found out that Merrick is gone, he was livid! He knew it was Bytes, but had no way to track him down. The Chairman urgently tried to remind him of his duty to the hospital.


“The man has disappeared. Very likely to the continent. There's no question of you're going after him; you're desperately needed here by your patients. Remember Treaves, you did everything in your power.”


Merrick was moved on to Brussels in Belgium where he and Bytes joined in with a circus that had a permanent Freak Show. “[The freaks] backed away a little when they first saw him, so that Merrick discovered that he was a freak even among freaks. The knowledge would've hurt him if he had not been beyond hurt by now. But they recovered themselves quickly. Their eyes were not blinded by what was 'normal.' To them, the abnormal was normal, and withing a short time they had accepted Merrick into the fellowship of the deformed. For the first time in his life he was one among equals. It was something even Treaves had not been able to give him.”


“Many of the freaks were there own managers. They paid the circus a percentage of their earnings but otherwise they were free. Those who were managed by others had struck bargains out of which they did very well. There was not one who, like Merrick, was treated as a possession.”


“[Merrick wondered if it would have been better never to have known [his old] life than to have known it and lost it, but he could not bring himself to believe that, not even now, better anything than not to have known Treaves, the friend he loved with his whole heart, and whom he would never see again.”


Even in his darkest hours he did not regret losing that glorious glimpse of the life other, normal men, lived. Nor did he utter one unkind word about any of those who had done him wrong. Even then, he had the utmost character and gracious poise of a man, even though Bytes treated him like an animal.


Merrick's disease had not stopped attacking his body and he grew sicker and weaker every day. It came to a point where he could not even feed himself the meagre potatoes and water Bytes offered for nourishment. Soon he could not preform. Bytes didn't appreciate being stuck with a useless animal and after getting drunk one evening, locked Merrick in the monkey cage before going to pass out for the night.


Eventually his friends and community of freaks approach the cage. Together they helped him escape; both from the prison, and from Bytes entirely. That night under the cover of darkness, the odd, little party escorted Merrick away. They led him to a train station and pointed him in the direction of England. “No fear could be greater than his determination to get back to London.”


As was his life, the journey home was potentially dangerous for Merrick alone. He had made it to London with luck. Unfortunately, that luck ran out in the form of curious young boys. “... the boys followed him, taunting him all the way.” One of them managed to pull off his hood. This caused a great commotion attracting the attention of the police and a crowd of horrified onlookers.


“Cornered at last Merrick faced them, his head nakedly exposed. He was breathing heavily with strain and nervous exhaustion, but something was growing inside, coming from a place deep down, so deep that he had never explored it, nor known of it's existence.

It was a feeling of anger that grew out of self-confidence and knowledge of himself that Treaves had studied so hard to give him. It was a realization that now if ever he must assert himself in the face of the world, or pass away without ever having really existed.


It seemed to give him strength, shaking his body uncontrollably as if it were a volcano about to erupt, and suddenly a cry burst from his lips, powerful and assured, such as he had never uttered before.


'No!' he screamed. 'I am not an elephant! I am not an animal! I am a human being! I – am – a – man. I AM A MAN!'”


Not long later, the police contacted Treaves who came, once again, to rescue him; to bring his friend home. Back in the safety of his rooms at the hospital Treaves tried to apologize to John.


“You must not blame yourself, my friend. How could you be expected to know? You have so much to think about here, so much responsibility, so many lives in your hands...”


As he spoke those words, Treaves recognized that John had “... rescued the human being who was in danger of being submerged in the doctor.” Treaves knew that even though he saved John's life, John also saved his. Just by being himself in everything Nature intended him to be, he touched the hearts of those who knew him best; including her Royal Highness the Princess Alexandra. His influence was enough to cause Treaves to wonder “if it was better to be [a rich young man] smiled on by fortune till his senses dulled and he cared for nothing, or a creature like [John] who felt every joy, every tiny pleasure, a thousand times over? At that moment, he could not have said.”


John sat back and reflected on his life particularly escaping from Bytes. “He had done all this, just as any other man would. He was a traveler, a man with the experience of journeying on land and sea.” With the goodness of a friend called Treaves, John Merrick had at last found himself. He now knew who he was.


He was a man. 











 The Elephant Man, Author Christine Sparks.