But freedom is a luxury that a maid can ill-afford, and when Sally grasps more than her status entitles her to, she is brutally reminded that she is mistress of nothing.
“The truth is that, to her, I was not fully human,” Sally starts.
The story begins in England,
in Esher in 1862. Sally, our narrator, is a servant, a maid, to an
English Lady who is quite sick with tuberculosis. The Lady is
“robust, learned and argumentative” despite being extremely
unwell. The Lady's health has deteriorated throughout the years and
it is plain to everyone that she will not survive another English
winter. To preserve her life the Lady must leave England, with
Sally, to Egypt, where the air is hot and dry. They close the house
and say their goodbyes. Sally is excited to leave her life in
England, but Lady Duff Gordon is devastated to leave her family
behind. Sally knows her Lady's last moments with her husband will be
the hardest, as the love between them is obvious. Everyone knew how
losing his wife, both to the illness, and now to Egypt, deeply
affected Sir Duff Gordon. Sally is glad she has no such goodbye.
Had she married, she would never have had the opportunity to travel;
a privilege so rarely offered a maid.
On arriving in Egypt the two
women are horrified. Filthy children, strange languages, smokey air,
the contrast to England is nearly overwhelming. Luckily friends come
to assist the ladies. One of them provides a guide, Omar, to help
them navigate Egypt. Sally realizes they could never have survived
in Egypt without Omar. She studies their guide; he is clean, makes
homemade bread and doesn't drink because he is a Muslim. Sally is
thankful for his company and his help on their journey down river.
“The Nile: green, a thick, viscous green, like milk flowing from a
great green cow; often brown, churned up, swirling; occasionally
clear to the bottom, sparkling, glassy; never blue.”
Her Lady's interest in the
Egyptians, and their way of life, provides the opportunity to explore
the local life they encounter on their journey south. Her Lady
decides to settle in the city of Luxor where her breathing is the
best. Omar inquires about a house, the French House, with a
spectacular view of the Nile. Her Lady immediately states that they
will be very happy there. Eventually the French House begins to feel
like home and they all fall into a busy rhythm. Omar tries to keep a
steady stream of visitors and guests, but despite the distractions
Lady Duff Gordon continues to deeply miss her family. Especially
when Christmas arrives. The Lady retires to her room with letter and
gifts from home leaving Sally to enjoy Christmas Day as she will.
Sally spends time with Omar. He can see that while the Lady is
mourning the loss of her family, Sally is happy; happy with her life
in Egypt. He hires a tutor to help the Lady better understand the
local language. Sally is amazed and delighted to hear her Lady's
Arabic become elegantly fluent. She tries to pass on some of the
lessons to Sally leaving them both breathless with baffled laughter.
With her new gift of the Arabic language her Lady surrounds herself
with the kind of company she had back in England, though everyone is
well aware at what an odd figure she is.
“A woman – married, but
with no husband present, no children with her either, an invalid who
is an adventurer at the same time, possessed of an avid intelligence
and a hunger for debate.”
This same woman decides that, for comfort, she will no longer wear her hot, stuffy English clothes and instead opts for “ - men's trousers, brown cotton, loose flowing tied at the ankles – and a long white cotton tunic on top – a man's tunic – plain – and sandals on her bare feet. That was it. And that was it; from then on that was how [her] Lady dressed, like an Egyptian man, a peasant, mind you, a fellahin, with a dash of Bedouin tribesman thrown in when she felt inspired.”
This prompts Sally to inquire
where she can purchase a new wardrobe fitting a lady such as herself
in Egypt. Omar arranges for a seamstress to come to the house with
spools of beautiful cloth and silk. Her Lady watches on
encouragingly. She's never had a new article of clothing in her life
and suddenly her Lady buys her a whole new wardrobe. It's all too
much, Sally is overwhelmed. Tears spill down her cheeks. She has
never been more thankful. Afterward, her Lady entertains her guests
and is eager to hear them talk of current politics and ancient
practices of the mysterious land of the Pharaoh’s. They talk of
modern ambitions and often launch into heated debates over sensitive
issues. These debates became more and more frequent and more and
more intense. With her limited Arabic, Sally understands most of
what they're saying and Omar helps fill her in when she loses the
context. Sally does not discuss such things with the Lady's guests,
but does talk with Omar, as he has a different opinion entirely.
However, she feels that she cannot have an opinion on something as
obscure to her as Egyptian politics.
The arrival of the ancient
tradition of Ramadan, “the holy month of fasting from dawn till
dusk,” somehow changes the dynamic of the relationships between the
three residents of the French House. Only allowed the one light meal
at night, Omar accepts an invitation, due to sense of occasion, to
dine with the ladies. They take their meal outside and watch the
night sky fade to stars. They dine, Egyptian style, lounging on
pillows with the food on the floor in front of them, then spend the
night entertaining and amusing one another. Even when the Lady grows
to ill to participate, Sally and Omar take the nightly opportunity to
get to know each other better. Sally sees their relationship
becoming more and more intimate.
“I had never spoken so
freely with a man, and Omar had never spoken so freely with a woman.”
Sally enjoys the peace and stillness, but when Ramadan ends a contagion sweeps through the famished village of Luxor leaving death and poverty in it's wake. In the business of taking care of her Lady, Sally is equipped with the remedies and the emergency equipment necessary to help the symptoms of the ill. Their friend, Mustafa Agha, seriously cautions the Lady.
“ - if your treatments do not work for the fellahin, they'll accuse you of poisoning them, or giving them the evil eye.”
“Don't be ridiculous,”
the Lady responded as she ordered for a room to treat the villagers.
The Lady had already sent
word home to her family asking for extra supplies in preparation to
what they might need. After an exhausting day of remedies, Sally and
Omar sleep soundly. So much so that Sally must go to awaken Omar the
next morning. He is not surprised to see her in his sleeping area.
Instead he welcomes her, takes her hand, brushes stray hair away from
her face, traces her lips softly with his fingers, kisses her gently.
Her first kiss, for in fact she had deliberately avoided kisses, and
all that went with them, her whole life. But from Omar on that
morning, she allows the kiss, allows so much more. For the first
time in her life Sally experiences love amidst the confusion the
contagion has brought to the town. This contagion and the civil
unrest in the country sparks passionate opinions in Omar. He does
not feel comfortable speaking up in front of her Lady, and she
notices this.
“... does he talk to you,
when I'm not around to hear?”
Sally doesn't answer.
“... for the first time in
[Sally's] life, [she] had a secret. A real secret, not just another
tiny piece of information [she] had kept to [herself] out of longing
to own something, anything. And for the first time in [her] long
years of service [she] did not want to tell the whole truth to [her]
Lady.”
And what a sweet secret. Sally, thankful for the clinic and the frenzy of activity it produced, tries to keep her mind off her steadily beating heart. Sally and Omar behave as usual around the Lady, but Sally can't help but looks for signs of love from Omar. That night, as Sally is getting ready for bed, there is a small knock at her door. It's Omar, back in her arms, loving her again. Sally is happy with the way things are, working for her Lady with Omar, loving Omar at night, she has a good life. Until one night, while standing in front of Omar, full of desire and the joy of being desired, he notices what she has failed to. She is going to have a baby, his baby. Sally feels foolish and is terrified of telling her Lady. Omar offers to marry her, even though he is already married, but for the time Sally convinces him to carry on as usual. She must deceive her Lady and by doing so she deceives herself.
Her Lady decides to remain in
Luxor throughout the summer. The heat is enough to drive away even
the most seasoned of Egyptian explorers. It became so intense the
whole house was imprisoned in darkness; inside away from the
scorching rays and at night, outside for whatever cool air there may
be. The long afternoons are the worst. The heat smothers
everything. The hot winds blow in sandstorms that nearly bury half
the town. Sally thinks that if she were to go outside she would be
buried for the future generations to dig up.
“I forgot what it was like
not to feel grit in my mouth, between my teeth, under my tongue, all
the time.”
Sally doesn't want to upset
her Lady with the news of her pregnancy, so Sally keeps their secret
all the while trying to convince herself and Omar that her Lady would
love a new baby. But some foreboding holds Sally back. Eventually
the August suns proves too much for the French House. They make the
decision to leave for Cairo. The Lady tries to write her husband,
imploring him to meet her there, earlier than expected, but when they
arrive, he is not there to greet them. Sally reassures her Lady that
he must not have received her letters regarding her change of plans,
but Sally can see that her Lady is feeling dejected, cast-aside,
banished to Egypt to die. Her eyes say, “I've been gone from him
so long, it's as though I'm dead already.”
Omar announces that since
he's in his home city he must go visit his family. Sally knows he
means his parents, and wife and child. Sally knows it's only right
for him to see them, but it reminds her of her precarious position.
She knows Omar loves her, and that's what she keeps in her heart when
the panic sets in. Luckily her Lady is much to ill to receive them
as visitors, and Sally feels that for once her Lady's burden is a
benefit to her. Sally has no desire to meet Omar's family. Her
Lady's illness is made worse and worse in Cairo. She is intolerant
the climate and Sally wants to advise her to return to Luxor to
return to her health. No reply ever comes from Sir Alick so the
little household continues to wait. Finally, in mid-November Sir
Alick arrives. Her Lady is so excited that she allows Sally to fuss
over her appearance. She is certain her husband won't recognize her,
as she barely recognizes herself.
“I'm neither English or
Arab; I've become a kind of creature in between. I look a kind of
man/woman, don't I?”
She was thin and brown and
had shorn grey hair and in no way resembled the woman her husband had
said goodbye to.
“And look at you Sally,”
her Lady added. “You've got fat! Omar's cooking is clearly too
good for you.”
Sally swallowed her guilt.
'Fat' was better than 'disgraced.'
With the arrival of Sir Alick
the comfortable, easy relationships between servant and master are
replaced by more formal, sterner English relationships, as was used
in the past. Ecstatic over seeing her husband, the Lady's health
improves enough for to show her the exotic sights of Cairo. Sally
knows her Lady has changed utterly, and Sally worries that her Lady's
happiness wouldn't last long. Sir Alick indeed proves Sally right by
crushes his wife's happiness with his announcement that he won't be
accompanying her back to Luxor. He decides to go on a safari
adventure with their oldest daughter Mrs. Ross instead. Lady Duff
Gordon's spirit’s sink. When they leave Lady Duff Gordon decides
not to go back to Luxor as she should. Sally can see her Lady hopes
her husband will inevitably fall in love with Egypt, realize he wants
to see more, and will return with her to Luxor. But until then, the
Cairo air and her dejected spirit caused the Lady to retreat once
more into illness.
Omar visits his family
leaving Sally alone all day. The Lady spends time alone in her room,
which is utterly unprecedented for her. Sally is left at the mercy
of her unwanted thoughts of Omar and his other life out there; out
there where she dare not go. His visits leave her desperate and
confused, but this only adds an intensity to their increasingly
passionate and awkward situation. Eventually, Sir Alick returns, but
with more distaste than love for Egypt. He must return to England
soon and Sally worries that the husband and wife might never see each
other again. Sally feels like she's witnessing the tragic end of a
previously loving marriage. Her Lady is being brave and strong, but
Sally knows she is devastated over losing her family, her husband,
once again. Once he is gone, the little household makes plans to
return to the French House in Luxor. On the way, on the Nile,
Sally's baby is born. They name him Abdullah, after the Prophet's
father. On the boat Omar tends to both Sally's needs as well as her
Lady's. Sally assumes that she will continue her duties as her
Lady's maid once they reach the French House. Sally clings to the
plan that she and Omar will still one day marry. She pictures
attending to her Lady while the precious baby sleeps nearby in his
basket. She assumes her Lady will coo at him and bounce him.
“Abdullah would be a most
welcome, a most venerated member of our Luxor household... but this
picture [Sally] had created was beginning to crack in it's frame.”
But Omar finally tells Sally
all that he has been trying so hard not to say.
“My Lady does not want to see you, or the child.”
Upset and confused, Sally
feels like she's been blasted by his words.
“She blames you entirely,”
Omar goes on to explain.
Sally cannot comprehend.
“She is so full of anger and sadness and fear over losing her own family that she cannot allow me to be happy this way,” Sally realizes.
But she continues to hope and
believe that her Lady will come around once she is reminded that it's
Sally, her faithful Sally.
But Omar isn't finished.
“She wants you to leave the
French House... Abdullah must go to my wife, Mabrouka, in Cairo and
you must return home to England,” he destroys Sally's life with the
deliverance of these orders from Lady Duff Gordon.
She and Omar tried to have
the child in secret, yet they both should've known better. Her Lady
Duff Gordon is awakened in the middle of the night, on Christmas Eve,
to Sally's sounds of agony. She is summoned by a panicked Omar to
come and help. This is how the Lady finds out about the pregnancy,
about the love affair, about everything. Yet she rolls up her
sleeves and dutifully helps deliver the baby safely. That next
morning though, alone with this new, bitter knowledge, on the second
Christmas away from her home and her family, Lady Duff Gordon is too
exhausted to cry. She has been tricked, lied to, her pride wounded.
Sally conspired to keep the shocking secret from her.
“... far away from England
and all she held dear, her friends, her children, her husband, the
man she had married when she was eighteen and loved ever since, her
mother... [Sally had] destroyed her Lady's peace [on the Nile.] It
was an illusion all along and [Sally] exposed it thus, irrevocably.
[The] Lady thought of her son Maurice, almost a man, and her baby,
Rainey, five years old – nearly six at home in England, without
their mother, without any prospect of seeing their mother. [The]
Lady had a thought that had never occurred to her before, a thought
that shocked her as deeply as the birth of [Sally'] baby: it might
have been better to have stayed in England to die with those she
loved around her, than to have come here to live out her Egyptian
afterlife. It might have been better to die.”
That thought, that one
thought is enough to destroy everything Lady Duff Gordon has tried to
create for herself in Egypt. That and the baby. The Lady needs
someone to blame and that blame falls squarely and solely with Sally.
Sally caused this and that was that. Sally knows that Egyptian law
allows Omar to take a second wife, but until he does, Sally is an
adulterer, a fact that she has conveniently over-looked. She
suspects that her punishment will be cruel; and it is. Omar tries to
speak up for Sally's defence. However, the Lady is unmoved, even
firm, in her accusal that Sally tricked him too. She refuses to give
permission for Omar and Sally to marry.
“I will marry her,” he
said. “I will be a father to my child.”
No member of her staff had
ever defied her in that way and Sally loves him all the more for
trying, though they both know they cannot marry without permission.
Claiming to want to avoid further scandal, Lady Duff Gordon finally
agrees to let them be married, all the while making it the day as
empty and joyless as possible. Despite her considerable efforts,
Sally's heart flies with happiness and excitement. She doesn't know
what the future looks like, but she is now Omar's wife; though this
sends Lady Duff Gordon into a relentless accusation insisting that
Sally is plotting to have Omar divorce his first wife in order to
make their own marriage legitimate by English standards. She even
goes so far to humiliate Omar in front of the distinguished guests at
her salon. Omar keeps quiet in his anger yet refuses to visit or
even look at Sally for some time after. Sally waits for him in the
confines of her cushioned prison trying to hide from the cruelties of
her life. Finally, Omar returns to her whispering, 'my wife, my
love, my wife.”
The occasion of Lady Duff
Gordon's published letters comes and goes as if the whole thing was
happening in another life. Yet it sparks a frenzy of guests at their
humble home in Egypt. Her friends come to visit, and friends of
their friends and friends of those friends as well. All of whom, it
seems, are privy to some version of Sally's misadventure. In those
lonely days Sally finds solace by reaching into the depths of her
memory to bring back a piece of her mother through songs she sings
her own baby. These songs link her to something greater and allows
her to temporarily leave her life while Omar diligently keeps
everything together. He is the sole provider to his family in Cairo,
her Lady's only nurse and servant, a father to two young children and
a man of Egypt. In his need he swears loyalty to Lady Duff Gordon.
His employment there protects him, but his safety makes him despise
himself because he cannot supply that same security to his wife,
Sally, and their child. The Lady's increasing demands keep him away
from them. Even at night the Lady commands he keep his sleeping mat
outside her door, should she need anything. One night, she calls
out, and he isn't there. She finds him with his little family and
the Lady goes wild. Sally loses all hard won invisibility. Omar
soothes the Lady and takes her back to bed. His eyes beg apology for
leaving Sally behind. He does not risk any more visits at night for
several days. Neither of them want to cause any more disturbances.
“Another few weeks,” [the
Lady] mumbled. “Another few weeks and I'll send the baby to Cairo
and Sally can be on her way. Beginning of May.”
True to her word and not long after, Sally packs
her things. Plans have been made for her to leave Luxor, to leave
the baby in Cairo and return to England alone with no prospects for a
future. But Sally has other plans. Back on the Nile Sally knows
that for the first time ever, she has no one to answer to. The Lady
has thrown her out, but with that Sally also lost the burden of
loyalty. Yes, Sally was going to Cairo, but there she will do what
was best for herself and her baby. She vows never to go back to
England. Instead, she uses the final wages Lady Duff Gordon gave her
for her service to pay for room, board and care for her son. But the
task of finding a job to support her and her son is daunting. All
she knows is being a maid and Egypt has changed her. She is no
longer quite European, no one wants to hire her, and without the
necessary connections, usually provided by Lady Duff Gordon, Sally is
afraid she is doomed. Determined to find something, anything, she
finally wins a job cleaning a filthy, run-down, little hotel for a
filthy, run-down, little man. She makes enough to live and get by.
Life seems to be going smoothly until one night a man follows her
home. Too late, he forces open the door. Too quick, he pushes
inside. Too fast, Sally must fight. She fights silently, as to not
wake the baby. She fights for her child, for herself, for her love,
her safety. She fights with anger and rage over the unfairness of
the world. She fights and she wins, but she knows she had been
kidding herself. She knows she cannot keep the baby. She knows she
must give him to Omar's family.
Meeting his family slams the
reality of her predicament around in Sally's head. His parents are
real, his wife and child are real, and not at all what Sally expects.
They are kind to her, ask about her and tell her that their home is
her home. She longs to stay but she knows she cannot. She is a
stranger and comforts herself, in the long, lonely nights that
follow, with the fact that her baby is with his family, that he is
safe. But she can't bear to be away from him and slips away daily to
stand unnoticed, outside their house, imagining the life within.
Finally, she allows herself to actually go in. They invite her into
their lives and tell her she can visit as often as she likes. She
makes them a part of her daily routine and she, in turn, becomes part
of theirs. Through them Omar finds where she is working. He is
shamed, appalled, deeply regretful and Sally knows that she still
loves him very much. He gives her money and promises to be back.
Her husbands family question
why Sally cannot stay with them in their house. Omar continues to
deny Sally their comforts. Sally learns it is because Lady Duff
Gordon forbids it. Outraged, Sally confronts the Lady and pleads
with her, that after thirty loyal years, to please, give her more
money. The Lady is cold and flatly refuses. The whole scene
humiliates Omar. He chases Sally as she leaves, angry at her. But
Sally has more at stake than Omar and loudly denounces their
marriage. She knows that as long as Omar is Lady Duff Gordon's
servant, he will not be her husband. Since he cannot allow her to
live in his house, he helps her find another job, a better job.
Sally has become a problem that takes a toll on everyone in the
family. Lady Duff Gordon's decree, made out of anger and wounded
pride, nearly succeeds in it's hate filled desire to ruin Sally's
life, and what's worse, nearly tears Omar's family apart in the
process. But in the end, the illness finally overpowers her and
death comes as everyone knew it would. The Lady Duff Gordon is taken
from their world allowing the living a chance to repair the damage
the decisions of her life have caused.
Winner of the Governor
General's Literary award, this book is beautifully told. A powerful
statement of love and loyalty and the triumph of life over death this
book outlines the probable story of real life character Lady Duff
Gordon's loyal maid Sally. Lady Duff Gordon's “Letters from Egypt”
were published and prized literary works in London at the time. Her
story barely even references her maid, Sally, and our author, Kate
Pullinger, took the liberty to suppose Sally's story.
