Title: The Rosie Project Author: Graeme Simsion

Don Tillman has a brilliant scientific mind, but social situations confound him.  He's never had a second date.  And so, in the evidence-based manner in which he approaches all things, he embarks upon the Wife Project: a sixteen-page questionnaire to find the perfect partner.  Then in walks Rosie Jarman.

Rosie is on a quest of her own.  She's looking for her biological father, a search that a certain genetics expert just might be able to help her with.  Soon Don puts the Wife Project on the back burner in order to help Rosie pursue the Father Project.  As an unlikely relationship blooms, Don is about to realize that, despite the best scientific efforts, you don't find love: love finds you.

Our main character, Don Tillman, is a highly organized and intensely practical man, who is “thirty-nine years old, tall, fit and intelligent, with a relatively high status and above-average income as an associate professor,” who is having a hard time finding a wife due to his immediately apparent lack of social skills. His days are planned out to the minute and he likes things a particular way. We find out he has two friends, another professor, Gene, and his wife Claudia. Gene and Claudia have been trying to help Don with his mission to find a wife. To his dismay, “their approach was based on the traditional dating paradigm, which [Don] had previously abandoned on the basis that the probability of success did not justify the effort and negative experiences... [He] never found it easy to make friends and it seems that the deficiencies that caused this problem have also affected [his] attempts at a romantic relationship.”

One night Don is obliged to replace Gene as a guest lecturer. The topic, Genetic Precursors to Autism Spectrum Disorders. The talk goes well, at least according to Don's observations, which are more than less conventional than the observations from other, less socially awkward individuals. Don decides the whole event is a success as one point sparks an idea so remarkable that he insist on clearing his schedule to develop it.

He has long assumed that he will one day find a wife, but his incredible lack of social manners has thus far made this feat impossible. Since dating doesn't work for him he must find a suitable alternative.

A questionnaire!

He is excited to talk to his friends about his new project. He receives excellent feedback.

'[It] was exactly the sort of input [he] was looking for. Subtle nuances of language that [he] is not conscious of.'

They suggest he test his questionnaire 'in the field' in addition to posting it online.

'[Don] returned to the dating process that [he] though [he'd] abandoned forever. On Claudia's advice, [he] had memorized the questionnaire to incorporate [the questions] subtly into conversation,' instead of bringing the entire questionnaire on the date. The only problem is his lack of subtly. Still, with her advice he manages to put his inquiry to good use and deducts through some strategically offered questions that one, 'very nice,' lady is simply not someone with whom to have a 2^nd or 3^rd date.

It's not very long before women start submitting the questionnaire. Gene inquires as to how many and is shocked and impressed at the volume. 'The actual total was greater than [Don] had told him, as [he] had not included the paper questionnaires. 304.'

Gene insists on choosing some of the women for Don to ask for dinner. Don argues that none of the women are suitable.

'“You don't think you're setting the bar just a tiny bit high?” his friend asks.'

'[Don] pointed out that [he] was collecting data to support life's most critical decision. Compromise would be totally inappropriate.'

Assuming Gene has sent her on account of the Project, Don asks a women to dinner. Her name is Rosie. Surprised at his offer she nonetheless accepts and names a venue. As usual, he arrives on time and finds himself socially incompetent in a bad situation before she's even made an appearance. Luckily, she is adept in handling the situation and they are allowed to leave without the proposed action of calling the police.

Since the dinner plans were ruined Don has no choice but to ask her back to his house for a meal (since eating at home would've been the next scheduled task.)

Back at Don's house Rosie can see how scheduled his organization really is. She takes the liberty to examine and go through his personal belongings. She is amazed at the extent of his meticulous scheduling system. Instead of being intimidated by it she offers him ways to work around the delays. Originally annoyed by her intrusion he begins to welcome her help going so far as abandoning all previously scheduled rules for that Tuesday evening and on top of that even making it seem like a joke.

Even with her variations to his schedule Don see's many flaws with her compared to his questionnaire. At the end of the meal he is almost relieved that he'll never see her again. She caused too much of a disturbance as it was.

In spite of his insistence to never see her again he decides that knowing her may add a benchmark to his Wife Project and since the project has found no matches to date he thinks he could spend more time with her. He also realizes that his expertise in genetics could be beneficial to her quest to find her biological father. He accompanies her to collect a DNA sample from her most likely prospect and takes her back to the lab to test it that same evening. When the results come back negative Rosie is disappointed and insist on going for a drink. Drinks turn into dinner and Don finds that although his Saturday schedule has changed he is surprised to find himself having a good time.

This causes him to want to help her further. There are two more men who might be her father. However, finding a DNA sample proved much harder than Don anticipated due to his lack of social skills. The duo is forced to three counts of petty theft to gain a sufficient DNA sample from each of the two men. Don is shocked at his actions and can't believe what he is going to help this girl.

As he continues the Father Project with her he is beginning to understand certain truths about human interaction, satisfaction and the comfortable companionship he clearly lacks. When the next two DNA samples prove negative he tries to convince Rosie to keep trying, all the while wondering why he cares so much.

Unwilling to leave a problem so unfinished Don is compelled into researching the other potential candidates for the Father Project. He has the fortune of good luck when he discovers a picture and the names of the attendee's at the party the night Rosie's mother got pregnant. His luck continues when he sees a 30 year reunion scheduled in the next three weeks. He convinces Rosie to get a job as a bartender at the reunion so they can easily continue to collect DNA.

Rosie gives Don 'The Complete Bartender's Guide' and tells him to memorize it for the event. He spends hours doing so only to find that his bar-tending knowledge far surpasses the other staff at the event. Not only does he have a complete list of cocktails in his head, but the recipes to accompany them as well as room to remember every drink ordered in the entire room. He becomes a huge success even as Rosie is flustered by it all. Yet they continue as planned and collect all of the necessary DNA samples. Don gets to work on analyzing the data with no success in finding a match.

One night, over pizza, Don makes the mistake of asking Rosie about the Wife Project to which she knows nothing about. She reveals to Don that she is a student in Gene's class. She had originally come to Don to settle a bet. This compels Don to explain his motivations with the Wife Project leaving both parties under the realization that they had met and gone for dinner under false pretenses and miscommunication. Rosie is unimpressed, even angry at Don for the whole charade and demands to know whey he continued helping her. Without a good explanation Don says nothing. Frustrated and angry Rosie storms out to return the next day with an apology right before Don mentions one, perfectly suitable, candidate of the Wife Project, which Rosie is still annoyed about.

Not fluent in social interactions Don goes ahead and asks this new candidate, Bianca, to the upcoming faculty ball. She says, 'yes.' Gene advises Don to ask Rosie to the ball instead saying she's already going alone.

'“Rosie and I discussed the question of a relationship explicitly. Neither of us is interested.” Don explains.

“Since when do women discuss anything explicitly?” Gene asks.'

Regardless of his friends advice Don meets Bianca at the ball under the guise that he can dance. He finds himself siting near the dance floor at a table with Bianca, Gene, a few other members of the University and Rosie. It does not escape Don that she is absolutely stunning. Before he knows it he is alone with Bianca on the dance floor. He proceeds to embarrass and then alienate his perfect candidate. She abandons Don there on the spot with Rosie, trying to help the awkward situation. She succeeds and they proceed to have an amazing evening, without Bianca.

Later, Don and Rosie share a cab, but before Don can get home Rosie asks him upstairs to her house.

'[He] needed to make sure [he] wasn't misinterpreting her.

'“Are you suggesting I stay the night?”'

Even with clarification Don's complete lack of social understanding ruins the moment and he continues home alone.

The next work day Don finds Rosie with her friends at the University during study hall. He tries to reconcile the situation but only manages to thoroughly embarrass her. He leaves vowing to contact her later only to find she is avoiding his calls.

'“These things happen,” said Claudia. “You get involved with a woman, it doesn't work out...”

So that was it. [Don] has, in [his] own way, become 'involved' with Rosie.'

He thinks that maybe she will be friends with him again if he continues the Father Project and follows it through to a successful conclusion. Why only nine more samples to go Don manages to collect seven of those samples even if it means picking used tissue from the trash.

With the samples all coming out negative Don feels he has no choice but to fly to New York to collect the samples from the remaining two candidates. He somehow convinces Rosie to go with him. Shortly after they arrive they successfully meet the first candidate and his wife. leaving them with a few days to explore New York.

Rosie demands the first two days be under her schedule with the last two days for his. She takes him for breakfast, they see a play and enjoy a traditional Japanese meal. She takes him to a baseball game and back to a sports bar for drinks after. Don finds himself enjoying their time immensely. They spend his two days at the Museum of Natural History where Don does his best to give Rosie the 'guided tour' as was suggested by Claudia. They also manage to collect the remaining DNA sample and soon find themselves ready to go home.

Once back at the University Don prepares to analyze the last two samples when he finds out what Rosie is planning on doing with the information.

'“You're planning to expose him?” [Don] asked horrified.'

He refuses to continue if it means bringing someone pain. Rosie is infuriated and again storms out and proceeds to ignore his calls. In the days after her departure Gene points out that Don might be in love, which would explain the sadness that had fallen over him since Rosie had left. He asks Claudia for help with social skills as a way to impress and win Rosie back. Claudia helps him and he learns many new skills that he is eager to try out. He also gets a haircut and buys new clothes in an effort to look more like someone Rosie would want him to look like. He does many things to try to impress her and win her back all to seemingly disastrous effect. In the end though, this story is simply stunning in it's straight-forward depiction of a man, like Don Tillman, in love. You'll be astounded at how awkward, yet perfectly sensible Don is towards everything but will have you wishing for his 'happily-ever-after' in spite of his being weird and wired wrong. 

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