Title: The Rosie Project Author: Graeme Simsion

Don Tillman has a brilliant scientific mind, but social situations confound him.  He's never had a second date.  And so, in the evidence-based manner in which he approaches all things, he embarks upon the Wife Project: a sixteen-page questionnaire to find the perfect partner.  Then in walks Rosie Jarman.

Rosie is on a quest of her own.  She's looking for her biological father, a search that a certain genetics expert just might be able to help her with.  Soon Don puts the Wife Project on the back burner in order to help Rosie pursue the Father Project.  As an unlikely relationship blooms, Don is about to realize that, despite the best scientific efforts, you don't find love: love finds you.

Our main character, Don Tillman, is a highly organized and intensely practical man, who is “thirty-nine years old, tall, fit and intelligent, with a relatively high status and above-average income as an associate professor,” who is having a hard time finding a wife due to his immediately apparent lack of social skills. His days are planned out to the minute and he likes things a particular way. We find out he has two friends, another professor, Gene, and his wife Claudia. Gene and Claudia have been trying to help Don with his mission to find a wife. To his dismay, “their approach was based on the traditional dating paradigm, which [Don] had previously abandoned on the basis that the probability of success did not justify the effort and negative experiences... [He] never found it easy to make friends and it seems that the deficiencies that caused this problem have also affected [his] attempts at a romantic relationship.”

One night Don is obliged to replace Gene as a guest lecturer. The topic, Genetic Precursors to Autism Spectrum Disorders. The talk goes well, at least according to Don's observations, which are more than less conventional than the observations from other, less socially awkward individuals. Don decides the whole event is a success as one point sparks an idea so remarkable that he insist on clearing his schedule to develop it.

He has long assumed that he will one day find a wife, but his incredible lack of social manners has thus far made this feat impossible. Since dating doesn't work for him he must find a suitable alternative.

A questionnaire!

He is excited to talk to his friends about his new project. He receives excellent feedback.

'[It] was exactly the sort of input [he] was looking for. Subtle nuances of language that [he] is not conscious of.'

They suggest he test his questionnaire 'in the field' in addition to posting it online.

'[Don] returned to the dating process that [he] though [he'd] abandoned forever. On Claudia's advice, [he] had memorized the questionnaire to incorporate [the questions] subtly into conversation,' instead of bringing the entire questionnaire on the date. The only problem is his lack of subtly. Still, with her advice he manages to put his inquiry to good use and deducts through some strategically offered questions that one, 'very nice,' lady is simply not someone with whom to have a 2^nd or 3^rd date.

It's not very long before women start submitting the questionnaire. Gene inquires as to how many and is shocked and impressed at the volume. 'The actual total was greater than [Don] had told him, as [he] had not included the paper questionnaires. 304.'

Gene insists on choosing some of the women for Don to ask for dinner. Don argues that none of the women are suitable.

'“You don't think you're setting the bar just a tiny bit high?” his friend asks.'

'[Don] pointed out that [he] was collecting data to support life's most critical decision. Compromise would be totally inappropriate.'

Assuming Gene has sent her on account of the Project, Don asks a women to dinner. Her name is Rosie. Surprised at his offer she nonetheless accepts and names a venue. As usual, he arrives on time and finds himself socially incompetent in a bad situation before she's even made an appearance. Luckily, she is adept in handling the situation and they are allowed to leave without the proposed action of calling the police.

Since the dinner plans were ruined Don has no choice but to ask her back to his house for a meal (since eating at home would've been the next scheduled task.)

Back at Don's house Rosie can see how scheduled his organization really is. She takes the liberty to examine and go through his personal belongings. She is amazed at the extent of his meticulous scheduling system. Instead of being intimidated by it she offers him ways to work around the delays. Originally annoyed by her intrusion he begins to welcome her help going so far as abandoning all previously scheduled rules for that Tuesday evening and on top of that even making it seem like a joke.

Even with her variations to his schedule Don see's many flaws with her compared to his questionnaire. At the end of the meal he is almost relieved that he'll never see her again. She caused too much of a disturbance as it was.

In spite of his insistence to never see her again he decides that knowing her may add a benchmark to his Wife Project and since the project has found no matches to date he thinks he could spend more time with her. He also realizes that his expertise in genetics could be beneficial to her quest to find her biological father. He accompanies her to collect a DNA sample from her most likely prospect and takes her back to the lab to test it that same evening. When the results come back negative Rosie is disappointed and insist on going for a drink. Drinks turn into dinner and Don finds that although his Saturday schedule has changed he is surprised to find himself having a good time.

This causes him to want to help her further. There are two more men who might be her father. However, finding a DNA sample proved much harder than Don anticipated due to his lack of social skills. The duo is forced to three counts of petty theft to gain a sufficient DNA sample from each of the two men. Don is shocked at his actions and can't believe what he is going to help this girl.

As he continues the Father Project with her he is beginning to understand certain truths about human interaction, satisfaction and the comfortable companionship he clearly lacks. When the next two DNA samples prove negative he tries to convince Rosie to keep trying, all the while wondering why he cares so much.

Unwilling to leave a problem so unfinished Don is compelled into researching the other potential candidates for the Father Project. He has the fortune of good luck when he discovers a picture and the names of the attendee's at the party the night Rosie's mother got pregnant. His luck continues when he sees a 30 year reunion scheduled in the next three weeks. He convinces Rosie to get a job as a bartender at the reunion so they can easily continue to collect DNA.

Rosie gives Don 'The Complete Bartender's Guide' and tells him to memorize it for the event. He spends hours doing so only to find that his bar-tending knowledge far surpasses the other staff at the event. Not only does he have a complete list of cocktails in his head, but the recipes to accompany them as well as room to remember every drink ordered in the entire room. He becomes a huge success even as Rosie is flustered by it all. Yet they continue as planned and collect all of the necessary DNA samples. Don gets to work on analyzing the data with no success in finding a match.

One night, over pizza, Don makes the mistake of asking Rosie about the Wife Project to which she knows nothing about. She reveals to Don that she is a student in Gene's class. She had originally come to Don to settle a bet. This compels Don to explain his motivations with the Wife Project leaving both parties under the realization that they had met and gone for dinner under false pretenses and miscommunication. Rosie is unimpressed, even angry at Don for the whole charade and demands to know whey he continued helping her. Without a good explanation Don says nothing. Frustrated and angry Rosie storms out to return the next day with an apology right before Don mentions one, perfectly suitable, candidate of the Wife Project, which Rosie is still annoyed about.

Not fluent in social interactions Don goes ahead and asks this new candidate, Bianca, to the upcoming faculty ball. She says, 'yes.' Gene advises Don to ask Rosie to the ball instead saying she's already going alone.

'“Rosie and I discussed the question of a relationship explicitly. Neither of us is interested.” Don explains.

“Since when do women discuss anything explicitly?” Gene asks.'

Regardless of his friends advice Don meets Bianca at the ball under the guise that he can dance. He finds himself siting near the dance floor at a table with Bianca, Gene, a few other members of the University and Rosie. It does not escape Don that she is absolutely stunning. Before he knows it he is alone with Bianca on the dance floor. He proceeds to embarrass and then alienate his perfect candidate. She abandons Don there on the spot with Rosie, trying to help the awkward situation. She succeeds and they proceed to have an amazing evening, without Bianca.

Later, Don and Rosie share a cab, but before Don can get home Rosie asks him upstairs to her house.

'[He] needed to make sure [he] wasn't misinterpreting her.

'“Are you suggesting I stay the night?”'

Even with clarification Don's complete lack of social understanding ruins the moment and he continues home alone.

The next work day Don finds Rosie with her friends at the University during study hall. He tries to reconcile the situation but only manages to thoroughly embarrass her. He leaves vowing to contact her later only to find she is avoiding his calls.

'“These things happen,” said Claudia. “You get involved with a woman, it doesn't work out...”

So that was it. [Don] has, in [his] own way, become 'involved' with Rosie.'

He thinks that maybe she will be friends with him again if he continues the Father Project and follows it through to a successful conclusion. Why only nine more samples to go Don manages to collect seven of those samples even if it means picking used tissue from the trash.

With the samples all coming out negative Don feels he has no choice but to fly to New York to collect the samples from the remaining two candidates. He somehow convinces Rosie to go with him. Shortly after they arrive they successfully meet the first candidate and his wife. leaving them with a few days to explore New York.

Rosie demands the first two days be under her schedule with the last two days for his. She takes him for breakfast, they see a play and enjoy a traditional Japanese meal. She takes him to a baseball game and back to a sports bar for drinks after. Don finds himself enjoying their time immensely. They spend his two days at the Museum of Natural History where Don does his best to give Rosie the 'guided tour' as was suggested by Claudia. They also manage to collect the remaining DNA sample and soon find themselves ready to go home.

Once back at the University Don prepares to analyze the last two samples when he finds out what Rosie is planning on doing with the information.

'“You're planning to expose him?” [Don] asked horrified.'

He refuses to continue if it means bringing someone pain. Rosie is infuriated and again storms out and proceeds to ignore his calls. In the days after her departure Gene points out that Don might be in love, which would explain the sadness that had fallen over him since Rosie had left. He asks Claudia for help with social skills as a way to impress and win Rosie back. Claudia helps him and he learns many new skills that he is eager to try out. He also gets a haircut and buys new clothes in an effort to look more like someone Rosie would want him to look like. He does many things to try to impress her and win her back all to seemingly disastrous effect. In the end though, this story is simply stunning in it's straight-forward depiction of a man, like Don Tillman, in love. You'll be astounded at how awkward, yet perfectly sensible Don is towards everything but will have you wishing for his 'happily-ever-after' in spite of his being weird and wired wrong. 

Click here to order 'The Rosie Project' from Amazon.com 

Title: The Secret Author: Rhonda Byrne

It has been passed down through the ages, highly coveted, hidden, lost, stolen and bought for vast sums of money. This centuries-old Secret has been understood by some of the most prominent people in history: Plato, Galileo, Beethoven, Edison, Carnegie, Einstein – along with other inventors, theologians, scientists, and great thinkers. Now The Secret is being revealed to the world.

This book poses the question, 'what do you want?' or more correctly, 'why aren't you living out what you want?'

Bob Proctor, “The Secret gives you anything you want: happiness health and wealth. The Secret is the law of attraction.”

Which is the most powerful law in the Universe.

'The law responds to your thoughts, no matter what they may be... unfathomable magnetic power is emitted through your thoughts.'

Bob Proctor, “If you see it in your mind, you're going to hold it in your hand.”

Mike Dooley, “Thoughts become things.”

Think of it like a TV. You might not understand exactly how it works, but you know that each channel has it's own images and stories. You have the power to change the channel. The images and stories you see are what make up your life. You have the power to change your thoughts, which is the power to change the channel. Every thought attracts more thoughts like it. What channel are you tuned in to? What thoughts do you have in your head?

John Assaraf, “Here's the problem, most people are thinking about what they don't want, and they're wondering why it shows up over and over again.”

'What you think about most is what will appear in your life. Your life is a mirror of the dominant thoughts you think.'

Michael Bernard Beckwith, “... it has been scientifically proven that an affirmative thought is hundreds of times more powerful than a negative thought.”

'However, if you persist in thinking negative thoughts over a period of time, they will appear in your life.'

Dr. Joe Vitale, “You want to become aware of your thoughts and choose your thoughts carefully...”

'To become aware of your thoughts, you can set the intention, “I am the master of my thoughts.” Say it often... and as you hold to that intention, by the law of attraction you must become that.'

Dr. J. Vitale, “Everything that surrounds you right now in your life, including the things you're complaining about, you've attracted... This is one of the hardest concepts to get, but once you've accepted it life transforms.”

'You have a choice, and whatever you chose to think about will become your life experience.'

Bob Doyle, “Most of us attract by default... our thoughts and feelings are on autopilot, and so everything is brought to us by default.”

Marci Shimoff, “It's impossible to monitor every thought we have... our feelings let us know what we're thinking.”

'It's impossible to feel bad and at the same time be having good thoughts. If you don't make any effort to change your thoughts you are in effect saying, “Bring me more circumstances that will make me feel bad.”

Jack Canfield, “our feelings are a feedback mechanism to us about whether we're on track [to our desires] or not...”

'When you're feeling bad it's communication from the Universe saying, “Warning! Change thinking now. Negative frequency recording. Change frequency (thoughts). Counting down to [negative] manifestation.” In that moment you are blocking your own good from coming to you because of the negative frequency of your thoughts. Change your thoughts and think about something good, and when good feelings start to come you will know it was because you shifted yourself on to a new frequency, and the Universe has confirmed it with better feelings.'

Bob Doyle, “If you start out having a good day and you're in that particular happy feeling, as long as you don't allow something to change your mood, you're going to continue to attract, by the law of attraction, more situations and people that sustain that happy feeling.”

Michael B. Beckwith, “It means that whatever thought has done in your life, it can be undone through a shift in your awareness.”

Dr. J. Vitale, “... the more you can feel good, the more you will attract the things that help you feel good.”

Marci Shimoff, “Once you begin to understand and try to master your thoughts and feelings, that's when you see how you create your own reality. That’s where your freedoms is, that's where all your power is.”

B. Proctor, “Life can be absolutely phenomenal, and it should be, and it will be, when you start using The Secret.”

'Up until now you may have been thinking that life is hard... and you have experienced life as hard... Begin right now to shout to the Universe, “Life is so easy! Life is so good! All good things come to me!”

Step One, Ask.

Dr. J. Vitale, “It's life having the Universe as your catalogue. You flip through it and say, “I'd like to have this experience and I'd like to have that product, and I'd like to have a person like that.” It's you placing an order with the Universe.”

B. Proctor, “Begin [every thought] with, 'I am so happy and grateful now that I have …..'”

Step Two, Believe.

Lisa Nichols, “Believe that it's already yours... act, speak and think as though you are receiving it now.”

Focusing on your lack of having it only brings more lack of having it. That is why you need to think like you already have it, to make it manifest in your life.

Dr. J. Vitale, “The Universe will start to rearrange itself to make it happen. You don't need to know how it's going to come about....”

Just believe and feel like it's already happened. Cling to the contentedness you'd feel if all your dreams were really happening in your life.

'When you are trying to work out how it will happen you are emitting a frequency that contains a lack of faith.'

B. Proctor, “You will attract the way.”

Step Three, Receive

Lisa Nichols, “The final stop in the process is to receive. Begin to feel wonderful about it. Feel the way you will feel once it arrives. Feel it now.”

Feel it to achieve it. Allow yourself to feel how good it would be to receive your desires.

'When you feel as though you have it now, and the feeling is so real that it is like you have it already, you are believing that you have received it, and you will receive. Imagine life as a fast-moving river. When you are active to make something happen it will feel as if you are going against the current of the river. It will feel hard and like a struggle. When you are acting to receive from the Universe, you will feel as if you are flowing with the current of the river. It will feel effortless. That is the feeling of inspired action, and of being in the flow of the Universe and life.'

Dr. J. Vitale, “The Universe likes speed. Don't delay. Don't second guess. Don't doubt. When the opportunity is there, when the intuitive nudge from within is there, when the intuitive nudge from within is there, act. That is your job and that's all you have to do.”

'Trust your instincts... Remember, you are a magnet...'

Michael B. Beckwith, “You can start with nothing and out of nothing and out of no way, a way will be made.”

How long does it take?

Dr. J. Vitale, “It's... a matter of you being in alignment with the Universe.”

Are you aligned with the things that you want? Check your thoughts; your feelings will let you know.

You might argue that some are luckier than others. Those people simply expect to attract luck, and it works. They often receive good and lucky situations or things to prove that they are lucky, when really it was the belief that they were lucky in the first place that caused them to be lucky.

B. Proctor, “Desire connects you with the things desired and expectation draws it into your life.”

'Expect the things you want.'

Buddha, “All that we are is a result of what we have thought.”

Marci Shimoff, “Gratitude is absolutely the way to bring more into your life.”

'Whether it is jealousy, resentment, dissatisfaction, or feelings of, 'not enough,' those feeling cannot bring you what you want. They can only return to you more of what you do not want. Make it a habit to feel the feelings of gratitude in abundance, for the great day ahead as though it is done.'

Jack Canfield, “Our job is not to figure our the 'how.' The 'how' will show up our of a commitment and belief in the 'what.'”

Dr. J. Vitale, “What's really important to the whole Secret is feeling good... You want to be high, happy, in line, as much as possible.”

Marci Shimoff, “The only difference between people who live [The Secret] and those who don't is that [those who do] made a habit of using [The Secret] all the time.”

'The shortcut to anything you want in your life is to BE and FEEL happy now!'

Lord Langemeier, “I grew up on 'You'll have to work hard for money.' So I replaced that with, 'Money comes easily and frequently.'”

'Any action we take must be preceded by a thought. Thoughts create the words we speak, the feelings we feel, and our actions. Actions are particularly powerful, because they are thoughts that caused us to act.'

'Unless you fill yourself up first, you have nothing to give anybody. Attend to your joy first. When you tend to your own joy and do what makes you feel good, you are a joy to be around... and you will attract more joy. The reason you have to love you is because it's impossible to feel good if you don't love you. When you don't feel good about your, you are on a frequency that is attracting more people, situations, and circumstances that will continue to make you feel bad about you. All you have to do is begin with one prolonged thought of something good about you, and the law of attraction will respond by giving you more like thoughts.'

'All stress begins with one negative thought. The effect is stress. No matter what you might have manifested, you can change it... with one, small, positive thought and then another. When we think negative thoughts we are cutting ourselves off from our rightful [abundance.] No matter what you have manifested you can change it. Start being happy. You have [to keep] your finger on the 'feeling happy' button. Press it, firmly, no matter what is happening around you.'

Lisa Nichols, “In our society [we fight] against things. Fight against cancer... poverty... war... drugs.. terrorism... violence. We fight everything we don't want, which actually creates more of a fight.”

'Don't try to change the outside pictures. You have to emit a new signal with your thoughts and feelings to create new pictures. Everything in this world began with one thought. The bigger things get bigger because more people give their thoughts to it. If we took our minds off it and focused instead on love, it could not exist. Focus on everybody being in joy. Focus on an abundance of food. Give your powerful thoughts to what is wanted. You have the ability to give so much to the world by emitting feelings of love and well-being.'

Michael B. Beckwith, “Energy flows where attention goes.”

Lisa Nichols, “It's not your job to change the world, or the people around you. It's your job to go with the flow inside the Universe and to celebrate it inside that world that exists.”

'Your ability to think is unlimited, and so the things you can think into existence are unlimited. But you cannot create other people's lives for them. You cannot think for them. So let all others create the life they want.'

Robert Collier, “If you have any lack, if you are prey to poverty or disease, it is because you do not believe or you do not understand the power that is yours.”

Praise and bless everything that is good and beautiful. 'When you are praising or blessing you are on the highest frequency of love. The dictionary defines blessing as, “invoking divine favour and conferring well-being or prosperity.” So begin right now to invoke the power of blessing in your life, and bless everything and everyone. Likewise with praising, for when you are praising someone or something you are giving it love and as you emit that magnificent frequency, it will return to you a hundred-fold. Praising and blessing dissolves all negativity, so praise and bless your enemies. If you curse your enemies, the curse will come back to harm you.'

'Being energy, you also vibrate at a frequency and what determines your frequency is whatever you are thinking and feeling. All things you want are made of energy and when you think about what you want, and emit that frequency, you cause the energy of what you want and bring it to you. All you have to do is hold your mind on the end result and you will call it into being. As you ask and feel and believe you will receive. When you emit the perfect frequency of what you want the perfect people, circumstances and events will be attracted to you.'

All power is from within and therefore under our control.

Jack Canfield, “The real question is, 'what are you going to do now?' What do you chose now? When people start focusing on what they want what they don't want falls away, and what they want expands, and the other part disappears.”

Dr. Fred Alan Wolf, “Every single 'I'm not,' is a creation.”

'Knowing this, would it be a good idea to begin to use the most powerful words, I AM, to your advantage? How about, “I AM receiving good things. I AM happy. I AM abundant. I AM healthy. I AM love. I AM Always on time. I AM eternal youth. I AM filled with energy every single day.”'

Affirmation: I am whole, perfect, strong, powerful, loving, harmonious and happy.

'When you are aware, you are in the present and you know what you are thinking. You have gained control of your thoughts, and that is where all your power is. All of your power is in your awareness of your power.'

Charles Haanel, “The real secret of power is consciousness of power.”

'The truth is that they Universe has been answering you all of your life, but you cannot receive the answers unless you are aware. Take a moment and sit still. Focus on feeling the life presence inside of you.'

Charles Haanel, “[that presence]... the 'I' is perfect and complete; [it] is spiritual and can therefore never be less than perfect. It can never have any lack, limitation or disease.”

Start attracting the things that you want today.

'Erase everything from the past that does not serve you. Do the things that you love and that bring you joy.'

Dr. John Hagelin, “So inner happiness actually is the fuel of success.”

The knowledge of The Secret is being given to you and what you do with it is entirely in your hands.

Morris Goodman, “And then you can do and have and be things that people once said that's impossible for you to do and have and be.”

'The only thing you need to do is feel good now.'

And go buy the book because there are more tricks, tips and tidbits than I could ever incorporate in this blog.

***Please note, single quotations, 'quote,' are meant to signify the authors voice where double quotations, “quote,” are to signify a direct quote from the corresponding speaker in the book.

This does not apply for quotations within quotations in which the reverse will be applied.

Ex. Speaker, “I read this great book once, 'The Secret.' t was powerful. It moved me.”

Title: The Mistress of Nothing Author: Kate Pullinger

Lady Duff Gordon is the toast of Victorian London. But when her debilitating tuberculosis means exile, she and her devoted lady's maid, Sally, set sail for Egypt. It is Sally who describes, with a mixture of wonder and trepidation, the odd ménage marshaled by the resourceful Omar, which travels down the Nile to a new life in Luxor. When Lady Duff Gordon undoes her stays and takes to native dress, throwing herself into weekly salons, language lessons and excursions to the tombs, Sally too adapts to a new world, affording her heady and heartfelt freedoms never known before.

But freedom is a luxury that a maid can ill-afford, and when Sally grasps more than her status entitles her to, she is brutally reminded that she is mistress of nothing.

“The truth is that, to her, I was not fully human,” Sally starts.

The story begins in England, in Esher in 1862. Sally, our narrator, is a servant, a maid, to an English Lady who is quite sick with tuberculosis. The Lady is “robust, learned and argumentative” despite being extremely unwell. The Lady's health has deteriorated throughout the years and it is plain to everyone that she will not survive another English winter. To preserve her life the Lady must leave England, with Sally, to Egypt, where the air is hot and dry. They close the house and say their goodbyes. Sally is excited to leave her life in England, but Lady Duff Gordon is devastated to leave her family behind. Sally knows her Lady's last moments with her husband will be the hardest, as the love between them is obvious. Everyone knew how losing his wife, both to the illness, and now to Egypt, deeply affected Sir Duff Gordon. Sally is glad she has no such goodbye. Had she married, she would never have had the opportunity to travel; a privilege so rarely offered a maid.

On arriving in Egypt the two women are horrified. Filthy children, strange languages, smokey air, the contrast to England is nearly overwhelming. Luckily friends come to assist the ladies. One of them provides a guide, Omar, to help them navigate Egypt. Sally realizes they could never have survived in Egypt without Omar. She studies their guide; he is clean, makes homemade bread and doesn't drink because he is a Muslim. Sally is thankful for his company and his help on their journey down river. “The Nile: green, a thick, viscous green, like milk flowing from a great green cow; often brown, churned up, swirling; occasionally clear to the bottom, sparkling, glassy; never blue.”

Her Lady's interest in the Egyptians, and their way of life, provides the opportunity to explore the local life they encounter on their journey south. Her Lady decides to settle in the city of Luxor where her breathing is the best. Omar inquires about a house, the French House, with a spectacular view of the Nile. Her Lady immediately states that they will be very happy there. Eventually the French House begins to feel like home and they all fall into a busy rhythm. Omar tries to keep a steady stream of visitors and guests, but despite the distractions Lady Duff Gordon continues to deeply miss her family. Especially when Christmas arrives. The Lady retires to her room with letter and gifts from home leaving Sally to enjoy Christmas Day as she will. Sally spends time with Omar. He can see that while the Lady is mourning the loss of her family, Sally is happy; happy with her life in Egypt. He hires a tutor to help the Lady better understand the local language. Sally is amazed and delighted to hear her Lady's Arabic become elegantly fluent. She tries to pass on some of the lessons to Sally leaving them both breathless with baffled laughter. With her new gift of the Arabic language her Lady surrounds herself with the kind of company she had back in England, though everyone is well aware at what an odd figure she is.

“A woman – married, but with no husband present, no children with her either, an invalid who is an adventurer at the same time, possessed of an avid intelligence and a hunger for debate.”

This same woman decides that, for comfort, she will no longer wear her hot, stuffy English clothes and instead opts for “ - men's trousers, brown cotton, loose flowing tied at the ankles – and a long white cotton tunic on top – a man's tunic – plain – and sandals on her bare feet. That was it. And that was it; from then on that was how [her] Lady dressed, like an Egyptian man, a peasant, mind you, a fellahin, with a dash of Bedouin tribesman thrown in when she felt inspired.”

This prompts Sally to inquire where she can purchase a new wardrobe fitting a lady such as herself in Egypt. Omar arranges for a seamstress to come to the house with spools of beautiful cloth and silk. Her Lady watches on encouragingly. She's never had a new article of clothing in her life and suddenly her Lady buys her a whole new wardrobe. It's all too much, Sally is overwhelmed. Tears spill down her cheeks. She has never been more thankful. Afterward, her Lady entertains her guests and is eager to hear them talk of current politics and ancient practices of the mysterious land of the Pharaoh’s. They talk of modern ambitions and often launch into heated debates over sensitive issues. These debates became more and more frequent and more and more intense. With her limited Arabic, Sally understands most of what they're saying and Omar helps fill her in when she loses the context. Sally does not discuss such things with the Lady's guests, but does talk with Omar, as he has a different opinion entirely. However, she feels that she cannot have an opinion on something as obscure to her as Egyptian politics.

The arrival of the ancient tradition of Ramadan, “the holy month of fasting from dawn till dusk,” somehow changes the dynamic of the relationships between the three residents of the French House. Only allowed the one light meal at night, Omar accepts an invitation, due to sense of occasion, to dine with the ladies. They take their meal outside and watch the night sky fade to stars. They dine, Egyptian style, lounging on pillows with the food on the floor in front of them, then spend the night entertaining and amusing one another. Even when the Lady grows to ill to participate, Sally and Omar take the nightly opportunity to get to know each other better. Sally sees their relationship becoming more and more intimate.

“I had never spoken so freely with a man, and Omar had never spoken so freely with a woman.”

Sally enjoys the peace and stillness, but when Ramadan ends a contagion sweeps through the famished village of Luxor leaving death and poverty in it's wake. In the business of taking care of her Lady, Sally is equipped with the remedies and the emergency equipment necessary to help the symptoms of the ill. Their friend, Mustafa Agha, seriously cautions the Lady.

“ - if your treatments do not work for the fellahin, they'll accuse you of poisoning them, or giving them the evil eye.”

“Don't be ridiculous,” the Lady responded as she ordered for a room to treat the villagers.

The Lady had already sent word home to her family asking for extra supplies in preparation to what they might need. After an exhausting day of remedies, Sally and Omar sleep soundly. So much so that Sally must go to awaken Omar the next morning. He is not surprised to see her in his sleeping area. Instead he welcomes her, takes her hand, brushes stray hair away from her face, traces her lips softly with his fingers, kisses her gently. Her first kiss, for in fact she had deliberately avoided kisses, and all that went with them, her whole life. But from Omar on that morning, she allows the kiss, allows so much more. For the first time in her life Sally experiences love amidst the confusion the contagion has brought to the town. This contagion and the civil unrest in the country sparks passionate opinions in Omar. He does not feel comfortable speaking up in front of her Lady, and she notices this.

“... does he talk to you, when I'm not around to hear?”

Sally doesn't answer.

“... for the first time in [Sally's] life, [she] had a secret. A real secret, not just another tiny piece of information [she] had kept to [herself] out of longing to own something, anything. And for the first time in [her] long years of service [she] did not want to tell the whole truth to [her] Lady.”

And what a sweet secret. Sally, thankful for the clinic and the frenzy of activity it produced, tries to keep her mind off her steadily beating heart. Sally and Omar behave as usual around the Lady, but Sally can't help but looks for signs of love from Omar. That night, as Sally is getting ready for bed, there is a small knock at her door. It's Omar, back in her arms, loving her again. Sally is happy with the way things are, working for her Lady with Omar, loving Omar at night, she has a good life. Until one night, while standing in front of Omar, full of desire and the joy of being desired, he notices what she has failed to. She is going to have a baby, his baby. Sally feels foolish and is terrified of telling her Lady. Omar offers to marry her, even though he is already married, but for the time Sally convinces him to carry on as usual. She must deceive her Lady and by doing so she deceives herself.

Her Lady decides to remain in Luxor throughout the summer. The heat is enough to drive away even the most seasoned of Egyptian explorers. It became so intense the whole house was imprisoned in darkness; inside away from the scorching rays and at night, outside for whatever cool air there may be. The long afternoons are the worst. The heat smothers everything. The hot winds blow in sandstorms that nearly bury half the town. Sally thinks that if she were to go outside she would be buried for the future generations to dig up.

“I forgot what it was like not to feel grit in my mouth, between my teeth, under my tongue, all the time.”

Sally doesn't want to upset her Lady with the news of her pregnancy, so Sally keeps their secret all the while trying to convince herself and Omar that her Lady would love a new baby. But some foreboding holds Sally back. Eventually the August suns proves too much for the French House. They make the decision to leave for Cairo. The Lady tries to write her husband, imploring him to meet her there, earlier than expected, but when they arrive, he is not there to greet them. Sally reassures her Lady that he must not have received her letters regarding her change of plans, but Sally can see that her Lady is feeling dejected, cast-aside, banished to Egypt to die. Her eyes say, “I've been gone from him so long, it's as though I'm dead already.”

Omar announces that since he's in his home city he must go visit his family. Sally knows he means his parents, and wife and child. Sally knows it's only right for him to see them, but it reminds her of her precarious position. She knows Omar loves her, and that's what she keeps in her heart when the panic sets in. Luckily her Lady is much to ill to receive them as visitors, and Sally feels that for once her Lady's burden is a benefit to her. Sally has no desire to meet Omar's family. Her Lady's illness is made worse and worse in Cairo. She is intolerant the climate and Sally wants to advise her to return to Luxor to return to her health. No reply ever comes from Sir Alick so the little household continues to wait. Finally, in mid-November Sir Alick arrives. Her Lady is so excited that she allows Sally to fuss over her appearance. She is certain her husband won't recognize her, as she barely recognizes herself.

“I'm neither English or Arab; I've become a kind of creature in between. I look a kind of man/woman, don't I?”

She was thin and brown and had shorn grey hair and in no way resembled the woman her husband had said goodbye to.

“And look at you Sally,” her Lady added. “You've got fat! Omar's cooking is clearly too good for you.”

Sally swallowed her guilt.  'Fat' was better than 'disgraced.'

With the arrival of Sir Alick the comfortable, easy relationships between servant and master are replaced by more formal, sterner English relationships, as was used in the past. Ecstatic over seeing her husband, the Lady's health improves enough for to show her the exotic sights of Cairo. Sally knows her Lady has changed utterly, and Sally worries that her Lady's happiness wouldn't last long. Sir Alick indeed proves Sally right by crushes his wife's happiness with his announcement that he won't be accompanying her back to Luxor. He decides to go on a safari adventure with their oldest daughter Mrs. Ross instead. Lady Duff Gordon's spirit’s sink. When they leave Lady Duff Gordon decides not to go back to Luxor as she should. Sally can see her Lady hopes her husband will inevitably fall in love with Egypt, realize he wants to see more, and will return with her to Luxor. But until then, the Cairo air and her dejected spirit caused the Lady to retreat once more into illness.

Omar visits his family leaving Sally alone all day. The Lady spends time alone in her room, which is utterly unprecedented for her. Sally is left at the mercy of her unwanted thoughts of Omar and his other life out there; out there where she dare not go. His visits leave her desperate and confused, but this only adds an intensity to their increasingly passionate and awkward situation. Eventually, Sir Alick returns, but with more distaste than love for Egypt. He must return to England soon and Sally worries that the husband and wife might never see each other again. Sally feels like she's witnessing the tragic end of a previously loving marriage. Her Lady is being brave and strong, but Sally knows she is devastated over losing her family, her husband, once again. Once he is gone, the little household makes plans to return to the French House in Luxor. On the way, on the Nile, Sally's baby is born. They name him Abdullah, after the Prophet's father. On the boat Omar tends to both Sally's needs as well as her Lady's. Sally assumes that she will continue her duties as her Lady's maid once they reach the French House. Sally clings to the plan that she and Omar will still one day marry. She pictures attending to her Lady while the precious baby sleeps nearby in his basket. She assumes her Lady will coo at him and bounce him.

“Abdullah would be a most welcome, a most venerated member of our Luxor household... but this picture [Sally] had created was beginning to crack in it's frame.”

But Omar finally tells Sally all that he has been trying so hard not to say.

“My Lady does not want to see you, or the child.”

Upset and confused, Sally feels like she's been blasted by his words.

“She blames you entirely,” Omar goes on to explain.

Sally cannot comprehend.

“She is so full of anger and sadness and fear over losing her own family that she cannot allow me to be happy this way,” Sally realizes.

But she continues to hope and believe that her Lady will come around once she is reminded that it's Sally, her faithful Sally.

But Omar isn't finished.

“She wants you to leave the French House... Abdullah must go to my wife, Mabrouka, in Cairo and you must return home to England,” he destroys Sally's life with the deliverance of these orders from Lady Duff Gordon.

She and Omar tried to have the child in secret, yet they both should've known better. Her Lady Duff Gordon is awakened in the middle of the night, on Christmas Eve, to Sally's sounds of agony. She is summoned by a panicked Omar to come and help. This is how the Lady finds out about the pregnancy, about the love affair, about everything. Yet she rolls up her sleeves and dutifully helps deliver the baby safely. That next morning though, alone with this new, bitter knowledge, on the second Christmas away from her home and her family, Lady Duff Gordon is too exhausted to cry. She has been tricked, lied to, her pride wounded. Sally conspired to keep the shocking secret from her.

“... far away from England and all she held dear, her friends, her children, her husband, the man she had married when she was eighteen and loved ever since, her mother... [Sally had] destroyed her Lady's peace [on the Nile.] It was an illusion all along and [Sally] exposed it thus, irrevocably. [The] Lady thought of her son Maurice, almost a man, and her baby, Rainey, five years old – nearly six at home in England, without their mother, without any prospect of seeing their mother. [The] Lady had a thought that had never occurred to her before, a thought that shocked her as deeply as the birth of [Sally'] baby: it might have been better to have stayed in England to die with those she loved around her, than to have come here to live out her Egyptian afterlife. It might have been better to die.”

That thought, that one thought is enough to destroy everything Lady Duff Gordon has tried to create for herself in Egypt. That and the baby. The Lady needs someone to blame and that blame falls squarely and solely with Sally. Sally caused this and that was that. Sally knows that Egyptian law allows Omar to take a second wife, but until he does, Sally is an adulterer, a fact that she has conveniently over-looked. She suspects that her punishment will be cruel; and it is. Omar tries to speak up for Sally's defence. However, the Lady is unmoved, even firm, in her accusal that Sally tricked him too. She refuses to give permission for Omar and Sally to marry.

“I will marry her,” he said. “I will be a father to my child.”

No member of her staff had ever defied her in that way and Sally loves him all the more for trying, though they both know they cannot marry without permission. Claiming to want to avoid further scandal, Lady Duff Gordon finally agrees to let them be married, all the while making it the day as empty and joyless as possible. Despite her considerable efforts, Sally's heart flies with happiness and excitement. She doesn't know what the future looks like, but she is now Omar's wife; though this sends Lady Duff Gordon into a relentless accusation insisting that Sally is plotting to have Omar divorce his first wife in order to make their own marriage legitimate by English standards. She even goes so far to humiliate Omar in front of the distinguished guests at her salon. Omar keeps quiet in his anger yet refuses to visit or even look at Sally for some time after. Sally waits for him in the confines of her cushioned prison trying to hide from the cruelties of her life. Finally, Omar returns to her whispering, 'my wife, my love, my wife.”

The occasion of Lady Duff Gordon's published letters comes and goes as if the whole thing was happening in another life. Yet it sparks a frenzy of guests at their humble home in Egypt. Her friends come to visit, and friends of their friends and friends of those friends as well. All of whom, it seems, are privy to some version of Sally's misadventure. In those lonely days Sally finds solace by reaching into the depths of her memory to bring back a piece of her mother through songs she sings her own baby. These songs link her to something greater and allows her to temporarily leave her life while Omar diligently keeps everything together. He is the sole provider to his family in Cairo, her Lady's only nurse and servant, a father to two young children and a man of Egypt. In his need he swears loyalty to Lady Duff Gordon. His employment there protects him, but his safety makes him despise himself because he cannot supply that same security to his wife, Sally, and their child. The Lady's increasing demands keep him away from them. Even at night the Lady commands he keep his sleeping mat outside her door, should she need anything. One night, she calls out, and he isn't there. She finds him with his little family and the Lady goes wild. Sally loses all hard won invisibility. Omar soothes the Lady and takes her back to bed. His eyes beg apology for leaving Sally behind. He does not risk any more visits at night for several days. Neither of them want to cause any more disturbances.

“Another few weeks,” [the Lady] mumbled. “Another few weeks and I'll send the baby to Cairo and Sally can be on her way. Beginning of May.”

True to her word and not long after, Sally packs her things. Plans have been made for her to leave Luxor, to leave the baby in Cairo and return to England alone with no prospects for a future. But Sally has other plans. Back on the Nile Sally knows that for the first time ever, she has no one to answer to. The Lady has thrown her out, but with that Sally also lost the burden of loyalty. Yes, Sally was going to Cairo, but there she will do what was best for herself and her baby. She vows never to go back to England. Instead, she uses the final wages Lady Duff Gordon gave her for her service to pay for room, board and care for her son. But the task of finding a job to support her and her son is daunting. All she knows is being a maid and Egypt has changed her. She is no longer quite European, no one wants to hire her, and without the necessary connections, usually provided by Lady Duff Gordon, Sally is afraid she is doomed. Determined to find something, anything, she finally wins a job cleaning a filthy, run-down, little hotel for a filthy, run-down, little man. She makes enough to live and get by. Life seems to be going smoothly until one night a man follows her home. Too late, he forces open the door. Too quick, he pushes inside. Too fast, Sally must fight. She fights silently, as to not wake the baby. She fights for her child, for herself, for her love, her safety. She fights with anger and rage over the unfairness of the world. She fights and she wins, but she knows she had been kidding herself. She knows she cannot keep the baby. She knows she must give him to Omar's family.

Meeting his family slams the reality of her predicament around in Sally's head. His parents are real, his wife and child are real, and not at all what Sally expects. They are kind to her, ask about her and tell her that their home is her home. She longs to stay but she knows she cannot. She is a stranger and comforts herself, in the long, lonely nights that follow, with the fact that her baby is with his family, that he is safe. But she can't bear to be away from him and slips away daily to stand unnoticed, outside their house, imagining the life within. Finally, she allows herself to actually go in. They invite her into their lives and tell her she can visit as often as she likes. She makes them a part of her daily routine and she, in turn, becomes part of theirs. Through them Omar finds where she is working. He is shamed, appalled, deeply regretful and Sally knows that she still loves him very much. He gives her money and promises to be back.

Her husbands family question why Sally cannot stay with them in their house. Omar continues to deny Sally their comforts. Sally learns it is because Lady Duff Gordon forbids it. Outraged, Sally confronts the Lady and pleads with her, that after thirty loyal years, to please, give her more money. The Lady is cold and flatly refuses. The whole scene humiliates Omar. He chases Sally as she leaves, angry at her. But Sally has more at stake than Omar and loudly denounces their marriage. She knows that as long as Omar is Lady Duff Gordon's servant, he will not be her husband. Since he cannot allow her to live in his house, he helps her find another job, a better job. Sally has become a problem that takes a toll on everyone in the family. Lady Duff Gordon's decree, made out of anger and wounded pride, nearly succeeds in it's hate filled desire to ruin Sally's life, and what's worse, nearly tears Omar's family apart in the process. But in the end, the illness finally overpowers her and death comes as everyone knew it would. The Lady Duff Gordon is taken from their world allowing the living a chance to repair the damage the decisions of her life have caused.

Winner of the Governor General's Literary award, this book is beautifully told. A powerful statement of love and loyalty and the triumph of life over death this book outlines the probable story of real life character Lady Duff Gordon's loyal maid Sally. Lady Duff Gordon's “Letters from Egypt” were published and prized literary works in London at the time. Her story barely even references her maid, Sally, and our author, Kate Pullinger, took the liberty to suppose Sally's story.

Title: Go for No Author: Richard Fenton & Andrea Waltz

Yes is the destination, no is how you get there.

Imagine going to be one night, then to awaken the next morning in a strange house with no idea of how you got there.  Only this house don't belong to just anyone - it  belongs to you... a wildly successful future version of the person you might one day become, providing you are willing to start doing one simple thing.

"Do you want to achieve success?  If your answer is 'yes', then you need to get more no's.  This book will show you why and how."  Darren Hardy, Publisher, SUCCESS magazine. 

We are introduced to Eric James Bratton, “a wonderful husband, terrific brother and a so-so copier salesman.” It all started with him calling his wife excited to tell her that so early on a Monday he was already at 3 for 3 in successful sales. He had only one more before he reached his quota for the week. The next day, at the office, Eric half joked half complained about all the paperwork sales brought. After a quick break a friend came over and asked Eric to join a focus group. Thinking no, Eric was surprised to hear himself say yes. This yes happened to take up most of his next day. To reward himself he decided to book a round of golf for the very next morning. Knowing he only had one more sale to go he booked a late tee time of 10:30 am. That night he realized that the next day was in fact Thursday, not Wednesday like he thought. Monday he reached 3 sales, Tuesday was paperwork, and Wednesday was devoured by the focus group. He still needed one more sale to hit his quota but had foolishly booked golf for the Thursday morning.

“I'll play quick,” he said to himself.

That night, in a dream, he slipped and fell and knocked his head on a rock in the creek of the golf course. When he woke he realized that he had instead fallen out of bed. He told his wife he might need ice and when she didn't respond he saw that not only was she not there, but he couldn't seem to recognize the room nor the bed he just came from. Confused he discovered a maid cleaning an enormous kitchen. She told him his wife was in Europe buying art. He claimed to have forgotten because of the bump before returning to the bedroom to rest. There, to his horror, in the mirror, he saw that he has aged a good 10 years. He saw grey hair and wrinkles where the night before there had been none. Scared, he questioned the maid about himself. She was clearly concerned for him. She revealed that to her knowledge he wrote books. With disbelief he located 3 books on success written by him. The first one written in 1989. He couldn't believe it and called the number on the back of one of the books in an attempt to find out more. He asked the receptionist to put him through to Eric Bratton. She did and he somehow managed to convince the other him not to call the police. The two Eric's agreed to meet.

The other him took Eric for a nice meal at a restaurant Eric usually couldn't afford. They discussed how their lives had been seemingly identical up until a certain point. They identified a conversation with a district manager named Harold which seemed to be the first difference in their experiences. The other him claimed it was a conversation with Harold that had changed his life. Eric James Bratton, as we know him, could not even recall what Harold had said. The other him recounted the memory. He had made a massive sale at his job at a men's clothing store. When Harold had seen him perform he congratulated him. Eric was proud of himself until Harold had asked him what the customer said no to. He suggested Eric ended the sale early, not the customer. The customer didn't actually say no to anything. It was Eric's perception of spending that prevented him from securing an even bigger sale.

“Your fear of hearing the word no is the only thing standing between you and greatness,” the other Eric stated what he had learned.

He also explained how failure was not opposite of success, it was on the way to success. Failure, or hearing no proved you were on the right path, that you ought to keep going. He realized it was important to fail. The other Eric explained the huge difference between being a failure and failing. A failure failed to try. He tried to drill it into Eric's head.

“Repeat after me: I like to fail.”

“I like to fail,” Eric said halfheartedly.

“I fail big and I fail often.”

“I fail big and often,” Eric repeated.

The other him told him that the most important lesson was “no doesn't have to be debilitating.” They both acknowledged how the other Eric became top salesmen in the chain while the real Eric was fired two months later.

The next day the other him invited Eric to accompany him on some business. Eric accepted and was eager to learn from his alter-ego. He used their time together to question the other, more successful version of himself. He still couldn't quite believe that the willingness to fail was what got his other self success. His other self tried to explain it further, that rejection didn't have to hurt. It could instead be energizing. He explained that it was all in how we perceived no. He told Eric that his company gave out an award to the salesperson who received the most no's. This same person had also been top in sales 4 years in a row.

“... hearing yes is the easy part of the job and teaches you virtually nothing. But learning to hear no over and over again and to never quit... now that builds character and self-esteem.”

He told Eric that people who are nearing their quota often slow down. They think they are almost there. But the quota was a bare minimum. No one ever got ahead by settling for bare minimum. He suggested that Eric set goals to reach 16 no's instead of a goal to reach 4 yes's. If the goal was 16 no's at 3 for 3 on Monday instead of being almost done, Eric would still be behind. Setting goals to hit no will also prevent someone from ending a potential hot streak.

The other him started giving Eric examples of people who succeeded due to their high failure quotient. In other words, “how many times someone was willing to fail before finally succeeding.” He reminded Eric of Abraham Lincoln, R.H. Macy, Thomas Edison, Harland Sanders among others. He revealed the magic word doctors used when they 'failed' by losing a patient; next! He outlined how ridiculous it would be if a doctor quit after one failure. Why wasn't that same logic used for sales? Quit after one no? Ridiculous. He stressed the importance of moving through the pain of loss or rejection. He told Eric to numb himself to no, not by staying away from it, or ignoring it, but by experiencing no so often it lost it's power.

“Do the thing you fear and the fear will go away. Remember, the comfort zone is never static. It's either expanding or shrinking,” his other self reminded him.

During a golf game with some of the other Eric's colleagues, Eric (now known as the other Eric's twin, Edward) asked them what they thought of the concept to go for no. One of the colleagues, Kurt, responded that the average person didn't stay average for long when using the concepts of no. He stated that most people kept imaginary boundaries and those boundaries held them back from new experiences. Cheryl, the other colleague, told Edward that it was like panning for gold. The yes's are the nuggets, but you have to separate and sift through the dirt that is the no's. There's more dirt, and you have to get through it to find a yes, but it makes it fun when you do get that desired nugget. She also taught him that no didn't mean never, it meant not yet. The best salespeople sold through the let-me-think-about-it's and broke through five no's before hitting a yes. Five no's! Most people quit after one. They also helped Edward understand that if you're going to fail, you might as well fail big! A no is a no no matter how big the account.

When it came to the other Eric to give his advice he told the group that as a leader of a team the fear of failure is recognized and the team begins to wonder if they should be afraid of failing too. He went on to suggest that as a leader you should reward people for their failures, not just their successes. It showed your priorities are set on the power of no. The more failures the more successes. He also shared his certainty that all his future successes would only be realized by him continuing to take risks, chances and “showing outrageous courage.”

Before his big presentation he confided in Eric how important it to embrace the concepts and become a success. If he didn't the other Eric, his successful alter-ego, might cease to exist as Eric's future. Both of them depended on Eric's ability to embrace no.

Not long after, Eric was back at home in his reality. He found out he did hit his head falling out of bed and had been in a coma for 4 days. Whatever the experience was, he took the lessons to heart. He became the number one salesmen in his league but was most proud of how many no's he received. After hearing and learning about the power of no from himself during a freak accident, Eric James Bratton realized that his definition of success was indeed backwards and by going for no he became the success he was always supposed to be.

This book is small and is full of entertaining and relevant stories outlining further the power of no. Just as one conversation changed Eric's future, this one book could change yours.